Quiz - Are You An Expert At Fighting Stress?

Stress is becoming pervasive in modern life. We are now finding that stress causes many diseases that can affect our life style. Stress damages our mental peace and physical fitness. Quiz yourself and find out if you are an expert at fighting stress.

Stress will always be there - To hope that stress can be avoided in modern life is difficult. All of us face stress in our life. The difference may be in quality of stress and our response to it. We can work on both of these and reduce stress substantially.

Quiz your stress level - please find out how much stress you face everyday. Is your stress level equal to what others are facing or more or less? You can do this by talking to few friends and co-workers. If you find that your work itself causes a high level of stress, you can always consider a job change. High stress over a period of years is not good. Please quiz yourself about this and find a way to reduce the stress you face.

Quiz your stress fighting ability - how you fight stress is very important. Do you get scared of the stress or face it squarely and fight it off. Write down all kinds of stresses you are facing and your responses to them. Find out if your response is of good quality? Develop methods to fight the stress and bring changes in your response to stress. Evaluate yourself over a period and make changes if needed.

PRACTICING STAYING PRESENT TO THE NOW

Transformational Counseling is about assisting others to transform their life. Transformational Counseling is a process of assisting others to learn how to let go of the past and live fully in the present. To live fully in the present is to become awaken to what is truly real and to our own natural power. Much of our life is spent living in the past, and in the process, attempting to fix it, to make it something that it is or was not. It is from living in the past that we also attempt to create our future, the result always being a living of life as it was in the past. Transformation takes place when we learn to exist in and be present to the Now.

The practice of staying present to our natural power and to that which is real is becoming conscious to what is so, to the Now, to the present. What is so, the Now, has no meaning and exists outside of thought and language. As human beings we tend to give meaning to everything, including other people, ourselves and even life itself. It is in our meaning making that we leave the present and create our life from the past, a life that can be filled with a great deal of anxiety, fear and stress. What is so merely exists and it is in the experience of the Now that we begin to live a life of power and freedom, a life and way of being free from our past.

A specific technique that is very powerful for practicing staying present to the Now is meditation. It is in meditation that one creates the space to experience a very deep state of relaxation, a state that is very healing to both the mind and body. As we know, in meditation ones metabolism slows down, including heart rate and blood pressure. The consistent practice of meditation will reduce anxiety and stress. For some the practice of meditation allows them to access true Being. For others it is way of reconnecting to the Spirit within us. It is in the consistent practice of meditation that the subject and object distinction inherent in language, thought and meaning making collapses thereby resulting in our access to the present, to the Now.

The meditative process can be enhanced by the use of therapeutic relaxation music. Music has always been a very powerful modality for promoting a very deep state of relaxation and even healings. I have found that musical compositions that are harmonically slow, repetitious, with sustained voices, which are rhythmically, random in tempo assists an individual in experiencing a very deep state of relaxation. A second important component of the use of therapeutic relaxation music is the use of binaural audio tones that have been interwoven into the music. The binaural tones, through a process referred to as entrainment or frequency following, gently guides or directs the mind/body to generate more of the targeted frequency of brain wave activity for an even more profound state of relaxation.

The meditative process of practicing staying present to the Now is as follows:

1. Take a comfortable position in an upright sitting position.

2. Allow your legs and arms to be open.

3. Allow your eyes to focus upon a chosen object. The chosen object could be a candle light in a darkened room or any point that you choose.

4. As you focus on the chosen object, allow your muscles to slowly relax from the top of your head to the tips of your toes.

5. Take three slow deep breathes in through your nose as you inhale. Hold each breath to the mental count of four. Slowly exhale each breath out through your mouth. Continue to breath at a slow pace after the three breaths.

6. Continue to focus on the chosen object. When your mind wanders to some thought or thoughts slowly and gently bring it back to your focused concentration upon the chosen object. Simply let go of the thoughts that arise. The thoughts are from the past. Stay focused to what is so.

7. Continue the practice for a prescribed period of time and then go about your daily activities. Each day that you practice you may even choose to lengthen the time you spend with this technique.

The ability to stay in the present, to access the Now, can be enhanced with the consistent practice of meditation. What this will necessitate is one making the practice of meditation apart of his or her daily schedule. With the consistent practice of meditation one will also create the ability to stay even more present to what is so even when not actively engaged in the meditative process. It is through a commitment to the practice of meditation on a daily basis that one will begin to live more fully in the Now.

Harry Henshaw, Ed.D., LMHC
http://www.enhancedhealing.com

Optimists Hope for More and Aren't Thrown by Less

These are changing and challenging times. Life is difficult and setbacks are common in the great game of business and in life. Every person has a choice about the attitude they bring to their day and the actions they make. Those who will prosper must develop flexible optimism, resourcefulness, and persistence in the face of adversity and constant change.

Unfortunately, far too many are falling victim to the depression of our age, learned helplessness— "Nothing I can do is going to make any difference in what happens to me, so why try?"

By controlling your attitudes and habits you too can alter your life and influence others you live and work with. Here are fifteen practical tips to claim your own optimism advantage in bouncing back from any setback or disaster.

1. Nurture perspective and an appreciation for the healing power of time. One of Abraham Lincoln's favorite quotes was: "This too shall pass." Because we tend to think that our reactions to bad events will never fade, we also tend to feel especially good when we recover from trauma with unexpected speed. Don't underestimate your own powers of recuperation from emotional trauma. None of us will ever forget the horror of September 11th or Hurricane Katrina, but we now look back with a calmer perspective only time can provide.

2. Dispute catastrophic thoughts by checking fears against the facts. Optimism can be learned. Recognize that people often have catastrophic thoughts—feelings that everything is wrong and that nothing is going to change. Think of these thoughts as if they are being said by some external enemy whose mission in life is to make you miserable. Then dispute those thoughts. Try using cold, impersonal facts to maintain a reality-based perspective. If you struggle with the fear of flying, you note that the National Safety Council reports that you're 37 times more likely to die, mile for mile, in a vehicle crash than on a commercial airline.

3. Avoid victim thinking and seize the day as a survivor. As long as you are alive, you always have options. Survivors make the best of the options they have while victims whine about how few they have. There is never nothing you can do, the only question is whether a given action will work and if committed action is worth the investment of the time required to achieve the desired results. Survivors keep making choices one day at a time.

4. Control what you can—position, perform and persist. Security is not a fact; it is a feeling—a feeling that you can control what you do. You don't control all events that happen, but you do control your response to events. You don't control the cards you are dealt in life, but you can learn how to play even a poor hand well. Appreciate the words of Reinhold Niebuhr: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." Get busy changing what you can—starting with your own attitude.

5. Move from analysis paralysis into action. Cultivate a continual sense of adventure that searches for and takes advantage of every opportunity. Failure to act doesn't prevent failure it just turns life into slow death. As Yogi Berra would say, "When you come to a fork in the road, take it."

6. Master the strategic skills you need to invent the future. The age of lifelong employment is over. You become an old dog when you stop doing new and improved tricks. Invest 5% of your time in education to stay a recyclable asset. If you hate your job, raise that to 10%. Search for what you enjoy and have the gifts to do. Bouncing back with optimism is easier when you have a job that gives you passion, fulfillment, and energy.

7. Manage your motivation by catching yourself being effective. You are probably tougher on yourself than on any other person. Instead of taking yourself for granted, love yourself the way you love others you care about. If you are not catching yourself being effective, you may be winning and not know it because you're not keeping score. Ask yourself daily, "What did I do today that made a difference?" Use your calendar to write down one success every day.

8. See mistakes as valued lessons on the way to success. Life is like a moving vehicle with no brakes; if you spend too much time in the rearview mirror, you may hit a tree out the front window. Keep your rearview mirror smaller than your front window by using self-criticism as course correction feedback on the road to success. Identify what was done wrong, but put your focus on the future: What are you going to do to rectify the problem? How will you handle it next time?

9. Persevere in reframing difficulties and downturns into strategic opportunities. Flexible optimists persevere even in the presence of obstacles and negative outcomes. They perceive failures as temporary setbacks, rather than final verdicts. What you think when things go wrong determines whether you give up or whether you get busy overcoming the problem. Victors say to themselves, "I'm going to figure out how to become successful one way or another." Victims say, "I'll never be able to succeed."

10. Build an expectation of success through persistent hard work and invest your worry time in constructive action. Hunt for the silver lining. A crisis can be a time to reinvent a business, to cut costs that are not adding value, and to reinforce and strengthen customer ties.

11. Relationships are critical in times of crisis. Learn to accept support from others; you don't have to go it alone. The tragedy of life is that the people you most want to spend time with you have to schedule time to even see. The people you least want to be with will find you wherever you are. Spend time with other optimistic and resourceful friends. Mark Twain said it well: "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great." The company you keep can bring you up or bring you down. Pick your friends and associates wisely.

12. Balance working and living smart by making time for your family. Research shows that time spent with supportive families, friends and faith communities can help people find strength and comfort. People look at their priorities differently after a personal crisis. Make dates and buy a few tickets! When you've paid for theater tickets or a sporting event, you find a way to get everything done so that you can go no matter what work demands appear. In fact, have tickets every day and be willing to give them up only when unexpected job or life demands require it.

13. To maintain a positive attitude, take your health habits seriously in difficult times. Eat right, exercise, get plenty of sleep, and include daily stress breaks in your day. Maintaining your health habits can do wonders to help you sustain your optimism and manage your increased stress levels.

14. Find the power of purpose and serving others. Friedrich Nietzsche once said, "The one who has a why to live can bear with almost any how." There is passion in being fully engaged in a meaningful mission and in doing your share of random acts of kindness. You make a difference for yourself when you make a difference for others. Faith, values and integrity are back in. People of faith tend not live in fear, but find peace in faith. Core values help direct your choices. They are both your anchor in the rough sea and the lighthouse that helps illuminate a positive and principled course in uncertain times. Honor is a gift you give yourself.

15. Use your sense of humor to regain perspective. Don't go through your life with your face in "park ". Humor provides perspective that breaks the stress cycle and invites a more positive attitude. If you know that some day you will laugh at a problem, don't wait—laugh as quickly as you can! Take your job and life seriously, but yourself lightly. Never forget that some days you're the bug, and some days you're the windshield. That's a perspective worth remembering in these challenging times.

Finally, experience the power of gratitude. Unrealistic expectations are a sure road to disappointment. Optimists hope for more, but are not thrown by less. Start counting your blessings instead of your problems. Choose to be happy unless something happens to change that feeling, instead of being unhappy until something makes you happy. End the day by identifying five things for which you are grateful. In fact, you can start by being grateful that you found this article!

Occupational Stress Management

There are many people in the world who can not stand where they work. Their occupation causes them no end of stress and can leave them struggling to get to sleep at night. There are also many days taken off sick through stress related illnesses. It is now time for people to deal with these issues and to start to react in a more positive and proactive way.

In the past I have worked for companies whose employees have made my life unbearable. These so called colleagues were very bitchy, hanged around in various clans and would stab people in the back at regular intervals. At times I would even dread going to work and would feel sick whilst travelling to my office.

I would return home feeling very drained and would have little energy to do anything in the evenings. I would then decide to go to bed early but would basically just lay their worrying about the next day. This could last for hours on end and at times would last all of the night.

I have read that plenty of sleep is a good way at reducing levels of stress, the question is, how does one get to sleep in the first place?

When I did have the energy to socialise with family or friends, the fear of going to work would end up ruining the night and would stop me from enjoying myself. I felt sorry for the people I was with and hoped that I did not ruin their night as well.

For whatever reason I did not have the confidence to tell people about the problems I had and kept it bottled up to myself. This I now realise was a mistake and I have since learnt to talk about any issues that I have.

For all the stress I had to endure, I certainly was not paid enough. The people who I worked with, including the team leaders, did not treat me with as much respect as I felt I deserved. This period was a very unhappy stage of my life and my health started to become affected.

I wanted to leave this company a lot earlier than the time that I eventually did, the problem was that I did not feel that I could afford to. I decided to save up enough money over a period of about six months so that I could then make my escape. At the same time I started to look at finding alternative work and thought long and hard about which career path I wanted to take.

On the day that I left this job, I will never forget my journey home. I could not stop smiling, I was so relieved that this nightmare was over once and for all.

I am happy to let you know that I have not found myself in a similar situation since. There may well be a time in the future of course when I do and if this ever happens to me again I am determined to leave a lot quicker than I did before. Life is to short to spend living in the way that I had.

Nothing More Than Feelings

"How are you Inventing Your Life Today?" – the lead story from my last issue of Power & Presence – drew comments from several readers. Most of the comments went something like: "I wish I could have the degree of control over my life that you apparently do."

I want to say, I wish I had the degree of control over my life that it apparently looks like I have.

Earlier this summer, several of my 20-something neighbors who live in the apartments next door had a long and lively conversation in their back yard, which lies just beneath our bedroom window – wide open on this particular warmish night. The conversation included beverages of one type or another (I hazarded some guesses), the containers for which, when drained, got thrown (loudly) into a recycle container. These antics took place between 2:30 and 3:30 A.M.

I debated for a while whether I should get up, dress, go next door, and have a conversation of my own. After tossing and turning for about 15 minutes, I decided to communicate through my open window. I got up, and – I believe in a fairly centered way – called out: "Quiet, please." They heard me, I think, since their voices quieted a bit. And while the cans continued to go into the recycles, they did so with perhaps a bit less energy.

But the damage was done, the horse out of the barn. What were my chances of getting back to sleep? I tossed and turned for another half-hour but couldn't find my way back. I got up, walked the house, muttered oaths to myself, and finally began to notice light dawning and birds chirping around 4:45. I lay down again and dozed intermittently between 5 and 8, and eventually got out of bed to face the day, tired, depleted, and still angry.

I remembered my story about "Inventing Your Life," and its theme about the meta-communicator being the padding between my feelings and me. There wasn't much padding after a sleepless night. I talked to my husband. I honored my feelings. I even appreciated my neighbors' cluelessness. I mean they're young adults having a summer outdoor party. Okay, it IS the middle of the night, but I may have done similar stuff at that age. But in spite of my best efforts at reclaiming equanimity, I mostly gave myself a pretty hard time about the fact that I'd written that story. Here I was having FEELINGS. I can help others better manage their emotions, so why couldn't I manage my own? Why couldn't I make them go away?

I re-read my story. It helped. I didn't say I wasn't supposed to HAVE feelings, I said I was supposed to be able to be aware enough to notice them and ride their waves. I said I wanted to make behavior choices based on my better instincts instead of acting out the emotion in unconstructive ways. I guessed that I had done that with my partying neighbors. I hadn't been mean-spirited or behaved reactively.

"Beyond That"
Then I understood that I wasn't upset with my neighbors any more; I was mad at myself for having such strong feelings. Like somehow I was supposed to be "beyond that." Because I teach and write about centering, I should be above these tiresome emotions.

In those moments of upset, I comprehended experientially that centering doesn't take emotions away. On the mat of life, as in aikido, the attack will come. It may come from the outside (my noisy neighbors) or the inside (strong feelings). How will I manage the energy? Will I freeze, fight, fall over, or move in toward the energy and use it wisely? I can be centered and upset. I hope, in fact, I am centered when I'm upset. When I'm centered I will hold the emotional energy differently.

In time, as they always do, the feelings died down and transformed, much like the thunderstorm that also passed through that night. By afternoon I was on the actual aikido mat and back to feelings I enjoy having in my body. "Inventing Your Life" is pretty accurate. The option to have or not have feelings is not under my control (at least not yet). The ones I had that night and early morning were not pleasant or wanted, and I could not MAKE them go away. All I could do was sit with them, watch them move through body, mind, and spirit, talk about them to caring friends, and care for myself while I was having them.

Soon I will be laughing about that night. (I already am.)

And soon I will have a longer conversation with my neighbors – in the daylight, when we're all centered, open to dialogue, and able to talk about how we want to live next door to one another.

Center does not equal an absence of emotion. Center equals presence with emotion. I am not a bad person because I have strong feelings. Feelings just are; they can in fact control us, or with some watching, waiting and positive intention, we can engage and direct their energy with awareness and purpose.

Naturopathy - A Way to Relieve Stress Naturally

Since life has become more fast and pressurized stress and its induced ailments started its work by affecting both the genders in all walks of life which made people feel the need for remedies that are new and harmless. So on learning about Naturopathy which has crossed more than a century has been learnt that it is effiective and handy way to relieve stress and its related ailments. Naturopathy, as such, is not a single entity, but comprise of Color therapy, Aroma therapy and Flower Essence therapy.

Remedial Treatment Using Colors - Color Therapy

Since color among many things color is considered to have some specific emotional infuence on the mind and behaviour of individuals, it is also staying as one of the components of Naturopathy to cure stress induced physical and psychological disorders. Each and every color shows its own effect on your emotions and they are specific in nature.. For example,

1) Yellow color will provoke your intellectual
2) Blue color will give a soothing effect and calm down your nerves
3) Red color will provoke your though process

These colors are being used by the therapists to bring the desired balance in the mind-body structure and that will in turn react chemically in the healing process. Recently, these therapists have started using color with acupuncture called color puncture to treat emotional and energy related ailments which restores the stressed out mind-body to its earlier primitive state.

Remedial Treatment using Fragance - Aroma Therapy

Fragrance plays a vital role in stress related problems and that’s how when the therapeutic power of essential oil from Lavender flower was found the concept of Aroma Therapy came into existence during the last decade especially in stress related problems. At present, nearly about fifty varieties of essential oils that are extracted from flowers and plants are being used in curing health disorders mainly for stress induced disorders.

It is necessary to take into consideration about your heart conditions, physical conditions and your overall support systems when you are recommended to undergo a aroma therapy. This treatment will first reduce the stress effects in you and gives a feeling of well being which will help to set the motion for healing process in you. The combined therapy of massage and acupressure along with aromatherapy is an established fact that the effectiveness of the therapy is high and will help to release your emotional stress and reduce your physical and mental stress.

Remedial Treatment using The Essence of Flowers - Flower Therapy

The treatment with the essence of flowers is done with the aim to bring you closer to your soul by doing at the "Soul Level" where you can find or experience peace falling on you and relieving your stress.

This therapy helps to make u take a back seat for the negative qualities of your soul like hate, fear, negativeness and bring out the noble qualities like Love, humility, courage, positive approach, equanimity of body and mind. Since stress and stress related disorders couldn’t coincide and exist with the noble qualities of the soul in the same globe, the stress and the stress induced ailments make a rapid departure and eventually leave you completely.

Natural Stress Management: Howsoever Powerful May Be The Storm-It Has To Pass!

The pronouncement of the very word natural, takes some stress out of your personality. The chances of harmful side effects in natural management in any area, are remote. This assurance is great and likely to have a soothing effect on one’s personality.

Do not think that your stress is something special and none has experienced the type of stress that you are undergoing. Each individual lives with a moderate level of stress. Some exhibit it, cry about it, others brave it calmly- that’s the difference! Nurturing the stress can cause serious problems, both physical and mental! Do not think that stress is due to sad events only. Sterling happy events can also cause stress.

Let’s know what are some of the common causes for stress and how natural stress managements techniques can be applied to understand and solve them. For, behind every stress, there is an event or a strong cause. Consider some of them:

1. Losing the job. Initially, this may sound like a disaster to you. There is no doubt that getting an alternative employment is the only alternative solution. Some times, ‘wrong things happen’ for giving you a right turn in life. Do not lose hope. Fight the battle of your life.

Here I will share a real life story of a driver with you. A man was working as a driver with a merchant, for the last eight years, and suddenly his services were terminated. This event though stressful, gave him an opportunity to think about the other job alternatives. He was guided to a Bank by his friend. He took a auto-loan, and today, within a space of two years, that ex-driver is owning four vehicles, including a tempo, for carrying cargo. From the rented one room flat, he has shifted to his two bed-room flat. Initially, after termination of his services, he was having a revengeful attitude against his former employer. How the advice of his level headed friend brought to him, rich dividends!

2. Examination Failures. Failure in an examination is not a failure in life. You can always try again. Those who score extra percentage, need not be extra brilliant! Suppose you are not brilliant in studies- you may be cut out for business, where you may gain astounding success. All that is in your hands is to make sincere efforts. Take care of the means-the ends will take care of themselves!

3. After the retirement. The senior citizen, unfortunately, is only given lip-sympathy, he has many problems. His earnings have dwindled, his physical strength is not the same, he has no chair-power, through which he commanded lots of influence. A lot of understanding is required, and all the natural stress management techniques will have to play positive roles here. You were once the the master in acquiring things, now be the willing human being to give up things, one by one. Otherwise, you would be the cause of your own stressful living.

The list of stress creating situations are endless and level of stress varies from individual to individual.

But, use one golden rule- do not overreact to any situation. Howsoever powerful may be the storm-it has to pass. Wait and watch with patience. This is all about natural stress management.

My Phobia For Travelling By Air

This article is all about the fear of flying in aeroplanes. If you have this fear or phobia, you are not alone. I myself do not exactly enjoy the experience and it was not until I was eighteen years of age that I managed to pluck up enough courage to travel by air. I hope you enjoy the read.

Personally, I like to be in control of whatever I do. I stay away from any danger and have never been one for things like roller-coasters. I do not need that particular thrill to rock my boat. Some people call me a wimp, which is probably correct. The thought of travelling by air therefore did not exactly excite me, I have to admit it scared the living daylights out of me. When I drive a car I have an element of control, if the aircraft crashes for whatever reason, my life could be over. I am not the pilot, I am unable to observe any servicing to the aircraft and I do not know its history.

Like most people, I had read that air travel is by far and way the safest form of travel. Guess what, I don't care, I still would rather drive.

There has been a recent television series called Lost. I thought it was a superb program and I have watched every episode. It did not help my phobia of flying though.

Due to the popularity of Lost, there has since been a lot of newspaper articles with people describing how they survived an aeroplane crash. I wish I had never read their stories as I can only imagine the fear and terror they must have been through.

During my last plane journey, as the aircraft was taking off an amusing thing happened to me. The take off and landing are always the worst aspects of the whole experience for me, and this is where I am at my most scared. We we travelling down the runway, gathering speed, I gripped the armrest tightly, hoping that would help and thankfully the plane rose into the air. The person in the seat next to me then asked if he could have his hand back. I had not been gripping the armrest but had been gripping his hand. I said sorry and continued to be brave.

My Fear of Heights and a Hot Air Balloon

Hot air ballooning is a different kettle of fish. Now I know hot air balloons fly (sort of) however there are no in-flight rations, flight attendants, movies, headsets, or pressurized cabins. There is just a big balloon (also called an envelope – I paid attention during the pre-flight briefing), a basket, a gas burner and a group of excited people. To me this was not flying, more like drifting and floating randomly above the earth.

What possessed me to voluntarily take a hot air balloon flight I’ll never know.

A flight was booked and as luck would have it, perfect weather conditions. We arrived at the departure point on a cool, crisp morning before the sun rose. The other passengers had already arrived and were eagerly awaiting the pre-flight briefing before take-off.

That was the good bit.

Fear washed through me, it became difficult to breathe, and my heart was pounding rapidly. It took supreme effort to keep my panic in check and instead, not wishing to put a damper on anyone’s enthusiasm, tried to appear as nonchalant as possible.

As time for take-off approached my fear intensified. Finally, as the ropes were released from the basket and the balloon slowly made its way upward, my knees turned to jelly and the urge to rid myself of the previous night’s dinner became overwhelming.

Totally trapped I silently screamed as we rose higher and higher from the ground.

What did I do next to overcome this panic?

I changed my state.

I remembered to breathe, and with that was able to centre myself (knowledge of meditation helps!) to step fully into the present moment. It also helped to shift my focus and become more curious, about the purple hills I could see on the horizon.

My focus then shifted to experiencing how serene it was up in the sky, only occasionally hearing the sound of the burner as it blasted hot air into the balloon above.

From experiencing this serenity my focus turned to the burner and feeling the heat of the flames.

Happy with experiencing what I was, I began asking myself probing questions about my fear. With each answer I would then ask “and what is important about that?”

Remaining centred and controlling my breathing, I continued to answer each question fully to myself until there was nothing left to ask.

From answering my own questions I discovered my fear was based on the fact that there was no jet engine, steering wheel, seat belts, escape chute and we were in a basket attached to a really big balloon!

From those answers I then:

* Determined that the likelihood of disaster was minimal to nil.

* Knew the present moment was the safest place for me.

* Future paced me. I imagined myself eating my champagne breakfast with the other passengers after the balloon flight, and retelling my story.

* Realised I was actually having an experience of a lifetime which I probably will never do again and decided to make the most of it.

Not only that, the captain seemed to know what he was doing (always encouraging), I knew the equipment was in great shape (I had a good look), and there was someone following the balloon in a vehicle below.

Taking several deep breaths, I refocused on my internal world and connected with peace again, silently giving thanks to my years of meditation practise.

At last I was able to truly enjoy this exhilarating experience! The peace and tranquillity above the earth with the sun rising in the East, and the green rolling hills below was absolutely awesome – I was in heaven!

Being in the present moment, focusing on controlled breathing, as well as becoming centred helped enormously in dealing with my anxiety. Not only that by asking the question “and what is important about that?” got to the heart of my fear.

Try asking yourself that question sometime when a need crops up. You might be surprised as what you discover about yourself.

Michaela Scherr Transformational Coach

MOVING THROUGH BREAKDOWNS WITH TRANSFORMATION

Success in recovery, or rather, staying in recovery, is dependent upon a variety of factors. For example, it appears that attending daily NA or AA meetings and staying in communication with ones chosen sponsor will definitely assist an individual in successfully implementing his recovery plan. Getting and staying committed to working the 12 Step Program also appears to increase the probability of the person staying abstinent from drugs and alcohol. While the above-mentioned elements of a persons overall recovery plan are crucial to his recovery, another major factor that will greatly influence an individual's continued abstinence is how he is able to handle the breakdowns that happen in life.

Knowing about breakdowns, what they are and how to manage them, is absolutely necessary for one to stay committed to his recovery plan. Breakdowns are what brought an individual into treatment and eventually created the space for him to begin his recovery. Breakdowns also happen while a person is in treatment and will continue to take place after he leaves. Even after successfully completing a treatment program, breakdowns are almost certain to happen as one returns to the community from which he came. In fact, both the client and his counselor should expect breakdowns to occur after treatment. It is for this reason that knowledge of the structure of breakdowns and how to transform them is very important if not crucial for the individual wanting recovery.

What are breakdowns? Experientially breakdowns start to occur when an event or events happen that the individual believes should not happen or ought to happen differently than how they take place. As a result the individual starts to feel frustrated, angry, disappointed or even sad about what is happening in his life. Inside these types of emotions the person starts to become resentful, creating a story about the event and to which he will eventually begin to blame, be it other people, places, things, situations or circumstances for that which is appearing. A breakdown eventuates into a relapse when the individual believes that his experience is intolerable, feels inadequate with respect as to how to handle it and chooses to use drugs or alcohol to reduce the emotional component of that he is experiencing. In this case, a breakdown and ones inability to transform it leads directly to relapse.

Inside the work of transformational counseling, the process of enrollment will assist the individual in becoming authentic where he was being inauthentic and also allow that person to stay in his recovery. Enrollment is the third component of transformational counseling the utilization of which allows the individual to again move out of his self-limiting belief and back into being his created possibilities. When one begins to experience a breakdown he has gone back into being his self-limiting belief. Their will be the pretense of what is happening and that which is again hidden from him hence the created inauthenticity. The technology of the enrollment process allows the individual the ability to transform the experience by being authentic and as a result regaining his power and freedom through being his possibilities. Utilization of the process of enrollment as with transformation itself is a practice that requires a great deal of commitment. As with any skill the structure of enrollment is taught and it is in communication with the persons coach or even sponsor that its implementation is brought forth into the individual’s life.

The first component of enrollment has to do with recognizing when one is in a breakdown. The key to such awareness is to be found in how the individual is feeling about what is happening in his life at any one moment. There are many times in our lives where we do not stop to monitor or become present to how we are feeling. Sometimes we have a tendency to merely ignore or move away from how we are feeling about something or someone. Breakdowns have certain emotions attached to their design. Those most common are emotions such as fear, anxiety, anger, frustration and sadness. The first part of utilizing the enrollment process is to monitor ones feeling state, to become present to how one is feeling and to do so to the point that it becomes part of ones very way of being in the world. Learning how to stay aware of ones emotional state is crucial to being able to successfully transform the breakdown experience that is being created.

The second component has to do with becoming present to the story that the person is creating with respect to the breakdown. While the emotional state of the individual is very important to become aware of, listening to the story that he is creating is also equally of importance. Within a conversation of transformation, every emotion is created by a thought. When there are negative emotions present in a person’s life as he is experiencing a breakdown there are also corresponding thoughts taking place. The thoughts that are taking place will appear as a story in the person’s mind. Within a breakdown the story will be other oriented, involving external people, places, things, circumstance or situations. Within the structure of the story, inherent to it, will be the belief that the external events are the real or true cause of how the person is feeling. It is with these thoughts that the breakdown and inauthentic way of being exists, a pretense that it is about another, hiding what it is truly about. As mentioned above, blame and resentment will eventually result. Becoming present to the story is vital if one is not to impulsively act upon it and as a result bring its destructive consequences into existence with respect to his life. Becoming present or an observer to ones story is crucial to transforming a breakdown.

The third component involves becoming present to ones self-limiting belief, to the source, to that which actually created the breakdown. Becoming present to ones self limiting belief, to that which has determined ones life up until the process of transformation began to take place, is the first component in the process of transformational counseling. Even though the distinction of ones self-limiting belief will create the space for the person to begin to create his life anew, it does not go away, become fixed or get cured. The self-limiting belief, much like a virus that has appeared in the human body, continues to exist. As with any idea that we have or create about us, it is also a way of being. We be or exist by what we think and more specifically by what we think about ourselves. What we are familiar with is being our self-limiting belief in the world. It is familiar for us to think and feel that the world is more powerful and real than we are and furthermore, that it is something that must be controlled and even survived. We will eventually experience a breakdown given our sense of inadequacy with respect to the world as this is how we have been in the community in the past. However, once the self-limiting belief is again distinguished the inauthenticity begins to weaken or be dissolved.

The fourth component of enrollment involves creating a possibility inside the breakdown experience. This act of creation can be to invent a new possibility or enroll oneself back into a person’s previously chosen possibilities. Creating possibilities for ones life is the second component of transformational counseling. However, once we get it that we are being our self limiting belief, that the source of the breakdown is the self limiting belief and not that which the story tends convey, it is at that moment that we can generate a possibility to be at that moment, a possibility to stand inside given the breakdown experience. It is by generating a possibility by our spoken word that the experience itself will transform. The breakdown only happens because of who we are being. It is by causing a possibility to come into existence through our word that the inauthentic way of being completely dissolves and with it the breakdown itself. It is with the creation of a possibility that the person’s power and freedom are once again restored.

The final component of the enrollment technology is acknowledgement. Once the experience is transformed it is important for a person to get the victory that his possibility has made for himself and his life, to acknowledge the difference of such a victory. Acknowledgement is about getting how the created or invented possibility has transformed the breakdown from what it was to that which is truly a breakthrough for the individual, especially with respect to the event or experience occurring. Acknowledgement is about getting the power of our word for allowing us to transform breakdowns into breakthroughs, to once again become our possibilities. It is this acknowledgement that strengthens ones process of transformation leaving the person’s power, freedom and self-expression fully restored. Acknowledgement is about standing in ones possibility, celebrating ones power and freedom having given up being a victim.

The practice of enrollment will make a difference for the person wanting recovery. Applying the technology of enrollment will enable the person to transform a breakdown when it happens and as a result avoid the destructive and possibly even lethal consequences that would have happened as a result of staying in a breakdown. For the individual in recovery, staying in a breakdown only increases the chances that he will turn to drugs and/or alcohol to reduce the emotional component of a breakdown. Staying in a breakdown as opposed to being able to transform tends to lead to relapse. Clients at the Holistic Addiction Treatment Program in North Miami Beach, Florida are taught to distinguish their self-limiting belief, create new possibilities for their life and furthermore, how to utilize the power of enrollment technology. The success of utilizing enrollment and even recovery itself, especially in the early stages of sobriety, will necessitate the person staying in contact with his sponsor or counselor especially when breakdowns happen. It is only in communication with another that the individual will continue to be his possibilities in life.


Harry Henshaw, Ed.D., LMHC
http://www.enhancedhealing.com