Quiz - Are You An Expert At Fighting Stress?

Stress is becoming pervasive in modern life. We are now finding that stress causes many diseases that can affect our life style. Stress damages our mental peace and physical fitness. Quiz yourself and find out if you are an expert at fighting stress.

Stress will always be there - To hope that stress can be avoided in modern life is difficult. All of us face stress in our life. The difference may be in quality of stress and our response to it. We can work on both of these and reduce stress substantially.

Quiz your stress level - please find out how much stress you face everyday. Is your stress level equal to what others are facing or more or less? You can do this by talking to few friends and co-workers. If you find that your work itself causes a high level of stress, you can always consider a job change. High stress over a period of years is not good. Please quiz yourself about this and find a way to reduce the stress you face.

Quiz your stress fighting ability - how you fight stress is very important. Do you get scared of the stress or face it squarely and fight it off. Write down all kinds of stresses you are facing and your responses to them. Find out if your response is of good quality? Develop methods to fight the stress and bring changes in your response to stress. Evaluate yourself over a period and make changes if needed.

PRACTICING STAYING PRESENT TO THE NOW

Transformational Counseling is about assisting others to transform their life. Transformational Counseling is a process of assisting others to learn how to let go of the past and live fully in the present. To live fully in the present is to become awaken to what is truly real and to our own natural power. Much of our life is spent living in the past, and in the process, attempting to fix it, to make it something that it is or was not. It is from living in the past that we also attempt to create our future, the result always being a living of life as it was in the past. Transformation takes place when we learn to exist in and be present to the Now.

The practice of staying present to our natural power and to that which is real is becoming conscious to what is so, to the Now, to the present. What is so, the Now, has no meaning and exists outside of thought and language. As human beings we tend to give meaning to everything, including other people, ourselves and even life itself. It is in our meaning making that we leave the present and create our life from the past, a life that can be filled with a great deal of anxiety, fear and stress. What is so merely exists and it is in the experience of the Now that we begin to live a life of power and freedom, a life and way of being free from our past.

A specific technique that is very powerful for practicing staying present to the Now is meditation. It is in meditation that one creates the space to experience a very deep state of relaxation, a state that is very healing to both the mind and body. As we know, in meditation ones metabolism slows down, including heart rate and blood pressure. The consistent practice of meditation will reduce anxiety and stress. For some the practice of meditation allows them to access true Being. For others it is way of reconnecting to the Spirit within us. It is in the consistent practice of meditation that the subject and object distinction inherent in language, thought and meaning making collapses thereby resulting in our access to the present, to the Now.

The meditative process can be enhanced by the use of therapeutic relaxation music. Music has always been a very powerful modality for promoting a very deep state of relaxation and even healings. I have found that musical compositions that are harmonically slow, repetitious, with sustained voices, which are rhythmically, random in tempo assists an individual in experiencing a very deep state of relaxation. A second important component of the use of therapeutic relaxation music is the use of binaural audio tones that have been interwoven into the music. The binaural tones, through a process referred to as entrainment or frequency following, gently guides or directs the mind/body to generate more of the targeted frequency of brain wave activity for an even more profound state of relaxation.

The meditative process of practicing staying present to the Now is as follows:

1. Take a comfortable position in an upright sitting position.

2. Allow your legs and arms to be open.

3. Allow your eyes to focus upon a chosen object. The chosen object could be a candle light in a darkened room or any point that you choose.

4. As you focus on the chosen object, allow your muscles to slowly relax from the top of your head to the tips of your toes.

5. Take three slow deep breathes in through your nose as you inhale. Hold each breath to the mental count of four. Slowly exhale each breath out through your mouth. Continue to breath at a slow pace after the three breaths.

6. Continue to focus on the chosen object. When your mind wanders to some thought or thoughts slowly and gently bring it back to your focused concentration upon the chosen object. Simply let go of the thoughts that arise. The thoughts are from the past. Stay focused to what is so.

7. Continue the practice for a prescribed period of time and then go about your daily activities. Each day that you practice you may even choose to lengthen the time you spend with this technique.

The ability to stay in the present, to access the Now, can be enhanced with the consistent practice of meditation. What this will necessitate is one making the practice of meditation apart of his or her daily schedule. With the consistent practice of meditation one will also create the ability to stay even more present to what is so even when not actively engaged in the meditative process. It is through a commitment to the practice of meditation on a daily basis that one will begin to live more fully in the Now.

Harry Henshaw, Ed.D., LMHC
http://www.enhancedhealing.com

Optimists Hope for More and Aren't Thrown by Less

These are changing and challenging times. Life is difficult and setbacks are common in the great game of business and in life. Every person has a choice about the attitude they bring to their day and the actions they make. Those who will prosper must develop flexible optimism, resourcefulness, and persistence in the face of adversity and constant change.

Unfortunately, far too many are falling victim to the depression of our age, learned helplessness— "Nothing I can do is going to make any difference in what happens to me, so why try?"

By controlling your attitudes and habits you too can alter your life and influence others you live and work with. Here are fifteen practical tips to claim your own optimism advantage in bouncing back from any setback or disaster.

1. Nurture perspective and an appreciation for the healing power of time. One of Abraham Lincoln's favorite quotes was: "This too shall pass." Because we tend to think that our reactions to bad events will never fade, we also tend to feel especially good when we recover from trauma with unexpected speed. Don't underestimate your own powers of recuperation from emotional trauma. None of us will ever forget the horror of September 11th or Hurricane Katrina, but we now look back with a calmer perspective only time can provide.

2. Dispute catastrophic thoughts by checking fears against the facts. Optimism can be learned. Recognize that people often have catastrophic thoughts—feelings that everything is wrong and that nothing is going to change. Think of these thoughts as if they are being said by some external enemy whose mission in life is to make you miserable. Then dispute those thoughts. Try using cold, impersonal facts to maintain a reality-based perspective. If you struggle with the fear of flying, you note that the National Safety Council reports that you're 37 times more likely to die, mile for mile, in a vehicle crash than on a commercial airline.

3. Avoid victim thinking and seize the day as a survivor. As long as you are alive, you always have options. Survivors make the best of the options they have while victims whine about how few they have. There is never nothing you can do, the only question is whether a given action will work and if committed action is worth the investment of the time required to achieve the desired results. Survivors keep making choices one day at a time.

4. Control what you can—position, perform and persist. Security is not a fact; it is a feeling—a feeling that you can control what you do. You don't control all events that happen, but you do control your response to events. You don't control the cards you are dealt in life, but you can learn how to play even a poor hand well. Appreciate the words of Reinhold Niebuhr: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." Get busy changing what you can—starting with your own attitude.

5. Move from analysis paralysis into action. Cultivate a continual sense of adventure that searches for and takes advantage of every opportunity. Failure to act doesn't prevent failure it just turns life into slow death. As Yogi Berra would say, "When you come to a fork in the road, take it."

6. Master the strategic skills you need to invent the future. The age of lifelong employment is over. You become an old dog when you stop doing new and improved tricks. Invest 5% of your time in education to stay a recyclable asset. If you hate your job, raise that to 10%. Search for what you enjoy and have the gifts to do. Bouncing back with optimism is easier when you have a job that gives you passion, fulfillment, and energy.

7. Manage your motivation by catching yourself being effective. You are probably tougher on yourself than on any other person. Instead of taking yourself for granted, love yourself the way you love others you care about. If you are not catching yourself being effective, you may be winning and not know it because you're not keeping score. Ask yourself daily, "What did I do today that made a difference?" Use your calendar to write down one success every day.

8. See mistakes as valued lessons on the way to success. Life is like a moving vehicle with no brakes; if you spend too much time in the rearview mirror, you may hit a tree out the front window. Keep your rearview mirror smaller than your front window by using self-criticism as course correction feedback on the road to success. Identify what was done wrong, but put your focus on the future: What are you going to do to rectify the problem? How will you handle it next time?

9. Persevere in reframing difficulties and downturns into strategic opportunities. Flexible optimists persevere even in the presence of obstacles and negative outcomes. They perceive failures as temporary setbacks, rather than final verdicts. What you think when things go wrong determines whether you give up or whether you get busy overcoming the problem. Victors say to themselves, "I'm going to figure out how to become successful one way or another." Victims say, "I'll never be able to succeed."

10. Build an expectation of success through persistent hard work and invest your worry time in constructive action. Hunt for the silver lining. A crisis can be a time to reinvent a business, to cut costs that are not adding value, and to reinforce and strengthen customer ties.

11. Relationships are critical in times of crisis. Learn to accept support from others; you don't have to go it alone. The tragedy of life is that the people you most want to spend time with you have to schedule time to even see. The people you least want to be with will find you wherever you are. Spend time with other optimistic and resourceful friends. Mark Twain said it well: "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great." The company you keep can bring you up or bring you down. Pick your friends and associates wisely.

12. Balance working and living smart by making time for your family. Research shows that time spent with supportive families, friends and faith communities can help people find strength and comfort. People look at their priorities differently after a personal crisis. Make dates and buy a few tickets! When you've paid for theater tickets or a sporting event, you find a way to get everything done so that you can go no matter what work demands appear. In fact, have tickets every day and be willing to give them up only when unexpected job or life demands require it.

13. To maintain a positive attitude, take your health habits seriously in difficult times. Eat right, exercise, get plenty of sleep, and include daily stress breaks in your day. Maintaining your health habits can do wonders to help you sustain your optimism and manage your increased stress levels.

14. Find the power of purpose and serving others. Friedrich Nietzsche once said, "The one who has a why to live can bear with almost any how." There is passion in being fully engaged in a meaningful mission and in doing your share of random acts of kindness. You make a difference for yourself when you make a difference for others. Faith, values and integrity are back in. People of faith tend not live in fear, but find peace in faith. Core values help direct your choices. They are both your anchor in the rough sea and the lighthouse that helps illuminate a positive and principled course in uncertain times. Honor is a gift you give yourself.

15. Use your sense of humor to regain perspective. Don't go through your life with your face in "park ". Humor provides perspective that breaks the stress cycle and invites a more positive attitude. If you know that some day you will laugh at a problem, don't wait—laugh as quickly as you can! Take your job and life seriously, but yourself lightly. Never forget that some days you're the bug, and some days you're the windshield. That's a perspective worth remembering in these challenging times.

Finally, experience the power of gratitude. Unrealistic expectations are a sure road to disappointment. Optimists hope for more, but are not thrown by less. Start counting your blessings instead of your problems. Choose to be happy unless something happens to change that feeling, instead of being unhappy until something makes you happy. End the day by identifying five things for which you are grateful. In fact, you can start by being grateful that you found this article!

Occupational Stress Management

There are many people in the world who can not stand where they work. Their occupation causes them no end of stress and can leave them struggling to get to sleep at night. There are also many days taken off sick through stress related illnesses. It is now time for people to deal with these issues and to start to react in a more positive and proactive way.

In the past I have worked for companies whose employees have made my life unbearable. These so called colleagues were very bitchy, hanged around in various clans and would stab people in the back at regular intervals. At times I would even dread going to work and would feel sick whilst travelling to my office.

I would return home feeling very drained and would have little energy to do anything in the evenings. I would then decide to go to bed early but would basically just lay their worrying about the next day. This could last for hours on end and at times would last all of the night.

I have read that plenty of sleep is a good way at reducing levels of stress, the question is, how does one get to sleep in the first place?

When I did have the energy to socialise with family or friends, the fear of going to work would end up ruining the night and would stop me from enjoying myself. I felt sorry for the people I was with and hoped that I did not ruin their night as well.

For whatever reason I did not have the confidence to tell people about the problems I had and kept it bottled up to myself. This I now realise was a mistake and I have since learnt to talk about any issues that I have.

For all the stress I had to endure, I certainly was not paid enough. The people who I worked with, including the team leaders, did not treat me with as much respect as I felt I deserved. This period was a very unhappy stage of my life and my health started to become affected.

I wanted to leave this company a lot earlier than the time that I eventually did, the problem was that I did not feel that I could afford to. I decided to save up enough money over a period of about six months so that I could then make my escape. At the same time I started to look at finding alternative work and thought long and hard about which career path I wanted to take.

On the day that I left this job, I will never forget my journey home. I could not stop smiling, I was so relieved that this nightmare was over once and for all.

I am happy to let you know that I have not found myself in a similar situation since. There may well be a time in the future of course when I do and if this ever happens to me again I am determined to leave a lot quicker than I did before. Life is to short to spend living in the way that I had.

Nothing More Than Feelings

"How are you Inventing Your Life Today?" – the lead story from my last issue of Power & Presence – drew comments from several readers. Most of the comments went something like: "I wish I could have the degree of control over my life that you apparently do."

I want to say, I wish I had the degree of control over my life that it apparently looks like I have.

Earlier this summer, several of my 20-something neighbors who live in the apartments next door had a long and lively conversation in their back yard, which lies just beneath our bedroom window – wide open on this particular warmish night. The conversation included beverages of one type or another (I hazarded some guesses), the containers for which, when drained, got thrown (loudly) into a recycle container. These antics took place between 2:30 and 3:30 A.M.

I debated for a while whether I should get up, dress, go next door, and have a conversation of my own. After tossing and turning for about 15 minutes, I decided to communicate through my open window. I got up, and – I believe in a fairly centered way – called out: "Quiet, please." They heard me, I think, since their voices quieted a bit. And while the cans continued to go into the recycles, they did so with perhaps a bit less energy.

But the damage was done, the horse out of the barn. What were my chances of getting back to sleep? I tossed and turned for another half-hour but couldn't find my way back. I got up, walked the house, muttered oaths to myself, and finally began to notice light dawning and birds chirping around 4:45. I lay down again and dozed intermittently between 5 and 8, and eventually got out of bed to face the day, tired, depleted, and still angry.

I remembered my story about "Inventing Your Life," and its theme about the meta-communicator being the padding between my feelings and me. There wasn't much padding after a sleepless night. I talked to my husband. I honored my feelings. I even appreciated my neighbors' cluelessness. I mean they're young adults having a summer outdoor party. Okay, it IS the middle of the night, but I may have done similar stuff at that age. But in spite of my best efforts at reclaiming equanimity, I mostly gave myself a pretty hard time about the fact that I'd written that story. Here I was having FEELINGS. I can help others better manage their emotions, so why couldn't I manage my own? Why couldn't I make them go away?

I re-read my story. It helped. I didn't say I wasn't supposed to HAVE feelings, I said I was supposed to be able to be aware enough to notice them and ride their waves. I said I wanted to make behavior choices based on my better instincts instead of acting out the emotion in unconstructive ways. I guessed that I had done that with my partying neighbors. I hadn't been mean-spirited or behaved reactively.

"Beyond That"
Then I understood that I wasn't upset with my neighbors any more; I was mad at myself for having such strong feelings. Like somehow I was supposed to be "beyond that." Because I teach and write about centering, I should be above these tiresome emotions.

In those moments of upset, I comprehended experientially that centering doesn't take emotions away. On the mat of life, as in aikido, the attack will come. It may come from the outside (my noisy neighbors) or the inside (strong feelings). How will I manage the energy? Will I freeze, fight, fall over, or move in toward the energy and use it wisely? I can be centered and upset. I hope, in fact, I am centered when I'm upset. When I'm centered I will hold the emotional energy differently.

In time, as they always do, the feelings died down and transformed, much like the thunderstorm that also passed through that night. By afternoon I was on the actual aikido mat and back to feelings I enjoy having in my body. "Inventing Your Life" is pretty accurate. The option to have or not have feelings is not under my control (at least not yet). The ones I had that night and early morning were not pleasant or wanted, and I could not MAKE them go away. All I could do was sit with them, watch them move through body, mind, and spirit, talk about them to caring friends, and care for myself while I was having them.

Soon I will be laughing about that night. (I already am.)

And soon I will have a longer conversation with my neighbors – in the daylight, when we're all centered, open to dialogue, and able to talk about how we want to live next door to one another.

Center does not equal an absence of emotion. Center equals presence with emotion. I am not a bad person because I have strong feelings. Feelings just are; they can in fact control us, or with some watching, waiting and positive intention, we can engage and direct their energy with awareness and purpose.

Naturopathy - A Way to Relieve Stress Naturally

Since life has become more fast and pressurized stress and its induced ailments started its work by affecting both the genders in all walks of life which made people feel the need for remedies that are new and harmless. So on learning about Naturopathy which has crossed more than a century has been learnt that it is effiective and handy way to relieve stress and its related ailments. Naturopathy, as such, is not a single entity, but comprise of Color therapy, Aroma therapy and Flower Essence therapy.

Remedial Treatment Using Colors - Color Therapy

Since color among many things color is considered to have some specific emotional infuence on the mind and behaviour of individuals, it is also staying as one of the components of Naturopathy to cure stress induced physical and psychological disorders. Each and every color shows its own effect on your emotions and they are specific in nature.. For example,

1) Yellow color will provoke your intellectual
2) Blue color will give a soothing effect and calm down your nerves
3) Red color will provoke your though process

These colors are being used by the therapists to bring the desired balance in the mind-body structure and that will in turn react chemically in the healing process. Recently, these therapists have started using color with acupuncture called color puncture to treat emotional and energy related ailments which restores the stressed out mind-body to its earlier primitive state.

Remedial Treatment using Fragance - Aroma Therapy

Fragrance plays a vital role in stress related problems and that’s how when the therapeutic power of essential oil from Lavender flower was found the concept of Aroma Therapy came into existence during the last decade especially in stress related problems. At present, nearly about fifty varieties of essential oils that are extracted from flowers and plants are being used in curing health disorders mainly for stress induced disorders.

It is necessary to take into consideration about your heart conditions, physical conditions and your overall support systems when you are recommended to undergo a aroma therapy. This treatment will first reduce the stress effects in you and gives a feeling of well being which will help to set the motion for healing process in you. The combined therapy of massage and acupressure along with aromatherapy is an established fact that the effectiveness of the therapy is high and will help to release your emotional stress and reduce your physical and mental stress.

Remedial Treatment using The Essence of Flowers - Flower Therapy

The treatment with the essence of flowers is done with the aim to bring you closer to your soul by doing at the "Soul Level" where you can find or experience peace falling on you and relieving your stress.

This therapy helps to make u take a back seat for the negative qualities of your soul like hate, fear, negativeness and bring out the noble qualities like Love, humility, courage, positive approach, equanimity of body and mind. Since stress and stress related disorders couldn’t coincide and exist with the noble qualities of the soul in the same globe, the stress and the stress induced ailments make a rapid departure and eventually leave you completely.

Natural Stress Management: Howsoever Powerful May Be The Storm-It Has To Pass!

The pronouncement of the very word natural, takes some stress out of your personality. The chances of harmful side effects in natural management in any area, are remote. This assurance is great and likely to have a soothing effect on one’s personality.

Do not think that your stress is something special and none has experienced the type of stress that you are undergoing. Each individual lives with a moderate level of stress. Some exhibit it, cry about it, others brave it calmly- that’s the difference! Nurturing the stress can cause serious problems, both physical and mental! Do not think that stress is due to sad events only. Sterling happy events can also cause stress.

Let’s know what are some of the common causes for stress and how natural stress managements techniques can be applied to understand and solve them. For, behind every stress, there is an event or a strong cause. Consider some of them:

1. Losing the job. Initially, this may sound like a disaster to you. There is no doubt that getting an alternative employment is the only alternative solution. Some times, ‘wrong things happen’ for giving you a right turn in life. Do not lose hope. Fight the battle of your life.

Here I will share a real life story of a driver with you. A man was working as a driver with a merchant, for the last eight years, and suddenly his services were terminated. This event though stressful, gave him an opportunity to think about the other job alternatives. He was guided to a Bank by his friend. He took a auto-loan, and today, within a space of two years, that ex-driver is owning four vehicles, including a tempo, for carrying cargo. From the rented one room flat, he has shifted to his two bed-room flat. Initially, after termination of his services, he was having a revengeful attitude against his former employer. How the advice of his level headed friend brought to him, rich dividends!

2. Examination Failures. Failure in an examination is not a failure in life. You can always try again. Those who score extra percentage, need not be extra brilliant! Suppose you are not brilliant in studies- you may be cut out for business, where you may gain astounding success. All that is in your hands is to make sincere efforts. Take care of the means-the ends will take care of themselves!

3. After the retirement. The senior citizen, unfortunately, is only given lip-sympathy, he has many problems. His earnings have dwindled, his physical strength is not the same, he has no chair-power, through which he commanded lots of influence. A lot of understanding is required, and all the natural stress management techniques will have to play positive roles here. You were once the the master in acquiring things, now be the willing human being to give up things, one by one. Otherwise, you would be the cause of your own stressful living.

The list of stress creating situations are endless and level of stress varies from individual to individual.

But, use one golden rule- do not overreact to any situation. Howsoever powerful may be the storm-it has to pass. Wait and watch with patience. This is all about natural stress management.

My Phobia For Travelling By Air

This article is all about the fear of flying in aeroplanes. If you have this fear or phobia, you are not alone. I myself do not exactly enjoy the experience and it was not until I was eighteen years of age that I managed to pluck up enough courage to travel by air. I hope you enjoy the read.

Personally, I like to be in control of whatever I do. I stay away from any danger and have never been one for things like roller-coasters. I do not need that particular thrill to rock my boat. Some people call me a wimp, which is probably correct. The thought of travelling by air therefore did not exactly excite me, I have to admit it scared the living daylights out of me. When I drive a car I have an element of control, if the aircraft crashes for whatever reason, my life could be over. I am not the pilot, I am unable to observe any servicing to the aircraft and I do not know its history.

Like most people, I had read that air travel is by far and way the safest form of travel. Guess what, I don't care, I still would rather drive.

There has been a recent television series called Lost. I thought it was a superb program and I have watched every episode. It did not help my phobia of flying though.

Due to the popularity of Lost, there has since been a lot of newspaper articles with people describing how they survived an aeroplane crash. I wish I had never read their stories as I can only imagine the fear and terror they must have been through.

During my last plane journey, as the aircraft was taking off an amusing thing happened to me. The take off and landing are always the worst aspects of the whole experience for me, and this is where I am at my most scared. We we travelling down the runway, gathering speed, I gripped the armrest tightly, hoping that would help and thankfully the plane rose into the air. The person in the seat next to me then asked if he could have his hand back. I had not been gripping the armrest but had been gripping his hand. I said sorry and continued to be brave.

My Fear of Heights and a Hot Air Balloon

Hot air ballooning is a different kettle of fish. Now I know hot air balloons fly (sort of) however there are no in-flight rations, flight attendants, movies, headsets, or pressurized cabins. There is just a big balloon (also called an envelope – I paid attention during the pre-flight briefing), a basket, a gas burner and a group of excited people. To me this was not flying, more like drifting and floating randomly above the earth.

What possessed me to voluntarily take a hot air balloon flight I’ll never know.

A flight was booked and as luck would have it, perfect weather conditions. We arrived at the departure point on a cool, crisp morning before the sun rose. The other passengers had already arrived and were eagerly awaiting the pre-flight briefing before take-off.

That was the good bit.

Fear washed through me, it became difficult to breathe, and my heart was pounding rapidly. It took supreme effort to keep my panic in check and instead, not wishing to put a damper on anyone’s enthusiasm, tried to appear as nonchalant as possible.

As time for take-off approached my fear intensified. Finally, as the ropes were released from the basket and the balloon slowly made its way upward, my knees turned to jelly and the urge to rid myself of the previous night’s dinner became overwhelming.

Totally trapped I silently screamed as we rose higher and higher from the ground.

What did I do next to overcome this panic?

I changed my state.

I remembered to breathe, and with that was able to centre myself (knowledge of meditation helps!) to step fully into the present moment. It also helped to shift my focus and become more curious, about the purple hills I could see on the horizon.

My focus then shifted to experiencing how serene it was up in the sky, only occasionally hearing the sound of the burner as it blasted hot air into the balloon above.

From experiencing this serenity my focus turned to the burner and feeling the heat of the flames.

Happy with experiencing what I was, I began asking myself probing questions about my fear. With each answer I would then ask “and what is important about that?”

Remaining centred and controlling my breathing, I continued to answer each question fully to myself until there was nothing left to ask.

From answering my own questions I discovered my fear was based on the fact that there was no jet engine, steering wheel, seat belts, escape chute and we were in a basket attached to a really big balloon!

From those answers I then:

* Determined that the likelihood of disaster was minimal to nil.

* Knew the present moment was the safest place for me.

* Future paced me. I imagined myself eating my champagne breakfast with the other passengers after the balloon flight, and retelling my story.

* Realised I was actually having an experience of a lifetime which I probably will never do again and decided to make the most of it.

Not only that, the captain seemed to know what he was doing (always encouraging), I knew the equipment was in great shape (I had a good look), and there was someone following the balloon in a vehicle below.

Taking several deep breaths, I refocused on my internal world and connected with peace again, silently giving thanks to my years of meditation practise.

At last I was able to truly enjoy this exhilarating experience! The peace and tranquillity above the earth with the sun rising in the East, and the green rolling hills below was absolutely awesome – I was in heaven!

Being in the present moment, focusing on controlled breathing, as well as becoming centred helped enormously in dealing with my anxiety. Not only that by asking the question “and what is important about that?” got to the heart of my fear.

Try asking yourself that question sometime when a need crops up. You might be surprised as what you discover about yourself.

Michaela Scherr Transformational Coach

MOVING THROUGH BREAKDOWNS WITH TRANSFORMATION

Success in recovery, or rather, staying in recovery, is dependent upon a variety of factors. For example, it appears that attending daily NA or AA meetings and staying in communication with ones chosen sponsor will definitely assist an individual in successfully implementing his recovery plan. Getting and staying committed to working the 12 Step Program also appears to increase the probability of the person staying abstinent from drugs and alcohol. While the above-mentioned elements of a persons overall recovery plan are crucial to his recovery, another major factor that will greatly influence an individual's continued abstinence is how he is able to handle the breakdowns that happen in life.

Knowing about breakdowns, what they are and how to manage them, is absolutely necessary for one to stay committed to his recovery plan. Breakdowns are what brought an individual into treatment and eventually created the space for him to begin his recovery. Breakdowns also happen while a person is in treatment and will continue to take place after he leaves. Even after successfully completing a treatment program, breakdowns are almost certain to happen as one returns to the community from which he came. In fact, both the client and his counselor should expect breakdowns to occur after treatment. It is for this reason that knowledge of the structure of breakdowns and how to transform them is very important if not crucial for the individual wanting recovery.

What are breakdowns? Experientially breakdowns start to occur when an event or events happen that the individual believes should not happen or ought to happen differently than how they take place. As a result the individual starts to feel frustrated, angry, disappointed or even sad about what is happening in his life. Inside these types of emotions the person starts to become resentful, creating a story about the event and to which he will eventually begin to blame, be it other people, places, things, situations or circumstances for that which is appearing. A breakdown eventuates into a relapse when the individual believes that his experience is intolerable, feels inadequate with respect as to how to handle it and chooses to use drugs or alcohol to reduce the emotional component of that he is experiencing. In this case, a breakdown and ones inability to transform it leads directly to relapse.

Inside the work of transformational counseling, the process of enrollment will assist the individual in becoming authentic where he was being inauthentic and also allow that person to stay in his recovery. Enrollment is the third component of transformational counseling the utilization of which allows the individual to again move out of his self-limiting belief and back into being his created possibilities. When one begins to experience a breakdown he has gone back into being his self-limiting belief. Their will be the pretense of what is happening and that which is again hidden from him hence the created inauthenticity. The technology of the enrollment process allows the individual the ability to transform the experience by being authentic and as a result regaining his power and freedom through being his possibilities. Utilization of the process of enrollment as with transformation itself is a practice that requires a great deal of commitment. As with any skill the structure of enrollment is taught and it is in communication with the persons coach or even sponsor that its implementation is brought forth into the individual’s life.

The first component of enrollment has to do with recognizing when one is in a breakdown. The key to such awareness is to be found in how the individual is feeling about what is happening in his life at any one moment. There are many times in our lives where we do not stop to monitor or become present to how we are feeling. Sometimes we have a tendency to merely ignore or move away from how we are feeling about something or someone. Breakdowns have certain emotions attached to their design. Those most common are emotions such as fear, anxiety, anger, frustration and sadness. The first part of utilizing the enrollment process is to monitor ones feeling state, to become present to how one is feeling and to do so to the point that it becomes part of ones very way of being in the world. Learning how to stay aware of ones emotional state is crucial to being able to successfully transform the breakdown experience that is being created.

The second component has to do with becoming present to the story that the person is creating with respect to the breakdown. While the emotional state of the individual is very important to become aware of, listening to the story that he is creating is also equally of importance. Within a conversation of transformation, every emotion is created by a thought. When there are negative emotions present in a person’s life as he is experiencing a breakdown there are also corresponding thoughts taking place. The thoughts that are taking place will appear as a story in the person’s mind. Within a breakdown the story will be other oriented, involving external people, places, things, circumstance or situations. Within the structure of the story, inherent to it, will be the belief that the external events are the real or true cause of how the person is feeling. It is with these thoughts that the breakdown and inauthentic way of being exists, a pretense that it is about another, hiding what it is truly about. As mentioned above, blame and resentment will eventually result. Becoming present to the story is vital if one is not to impulsively act upon it and as a result bring its destructive consequences into existence with respect to his life. Becoming present or an observer to ones story is crucial to transforming a breakdown.

The third component involves becoming present to ones self-limiting belief, to the source, to that which actually created the breakdown. Becoming present to ones self limiting belief, to that which has determined ones life up until the process of transformation began to take place, is the first component in the process of transformational counseling. Even though the distinction of ones self-limiting belief will create the space for the person to begin to create his life anew, it does not go away, become fixed or get cured. The self-limiting belief, much like a virus that has appeared in the human body, continues to exist. As with any idea that we have or create about us, it is also a way of being. We be or exist by what we think and more specifically by what we think about ourselves. What we are familiar with is being our self-limiting belief in the world. It is familiar for us to think and feel that the world is more powerful and real than we are and furthermore, that it is something that must be controlled and even survived. We will eventually experience a breakdown given our sense of inadequacy with respect to the world as this is how we have been in the community in the past. However, once the self-limiting belief is again distinguished the inauthenticity begins to weaken or be dissolved.

The fourth component of enrollment involves creating a possibility inside the breakdown experience. This act of creation can be to invent a new possibility or enroll oneself back into a person’s previously chosen possibilities. Creating possibilities for ones life is the second component of transformational counseling. However, once we get it that we are being our self limiting belief, that the source of the breakdown is the self limiting belief and not that which the story tends convey, it is at that moment that we can generate a possibility to be at that moment, a possibility to stand inside given the breakdown experience. It is by generating a possibility by our spoken word that the experience itself will transform. The breakdown only happens because of who we are being. It is by causing a possibility to come into existence through our word that the inauthentic way of being completely dissolves and with it the breakdown itself. It is with the creation of a possibility that the person’s power and freedom are once again restored.

The final component of the enrollment technology is acknowledgement. Once the experience is transformed it is important for a person to get the victory that his possibility has made for himself and his life, to acknowledge the difference of such a victory. Acknowledgement is about getting how the created or invented possibility has transformed the breakdown from what it was to that which is truly a breakthrough for the individual, especially with respect to the event or experience occurring. Acknowledgement is about getting the power of our word for allowing us to transform breakdowns into breakthroughs, to once again become our possibilities. It is this acknowledgement that strengthens ones process of transformation leaving the person’s power, freedom and self-expression fully restored. Acknowledgement is about standing in ones possibility, celebrating ones power and freedom having given up being a victim.

The practice of enrollment will make a difference for the person wanting recovery. Applying the technology of enrollment will enable the person to transform a breakdown when it happens and as a result avoid the destructive and possibly even lethal consequences that would have happened as a result of staying in a breakdown. For the individual in recovery, staying in a breakdown only increases the chances that he will turn to drugs and/or alcohol to reduce the emotional component of a breakdown. Staying in a breakdown as opposed to being able to transform tends to lead to relapse. Clients at the Holistic Addiction Treatment Program in North Miami Beach, Florida are taught to distinguish their self-limiting belief, create new possibilities for their life and furthermore, how to utilize the power of enrollment technology. The success of utilizing enrollment and even recovery itself, especially in the early stages of sobriety, will necessitate the person staying in contact with his sponsor or counselor especially when breakdowns happen. It is only in communication with another that the individual will continue to be his possibilities in life.


Harry Henshaw, Ed.D., LMHC
http://www.enhancedhealing.com

Methods To Relieve Stess

Jane, a working mother, often feels tense. She feels she has too much to do. At the end of the day, she is drained and frazzled. She feels as if she is being pulled from all sides. Consequently, she cannot meet the demands of her job or her family. She gets irritated over insignificant things and has intense emotional outbursts. Lately, she cannot sleep at night, does not feel hungry, and feels exhausted all the time. Jane is under stress.

Many people who are under stress do not know what the effects of stress are and how it feels. The following are some key stress indicators:

- Irritability and nervousness
- Sleep disturbances
- Poor concentration and low memory retention
- Anger and tantrums
- Anti social behavior, sometimes bordering on the violent
- Alcohol or drug abuse
- Emotional outbursts

Constant stress will trigger physical ailments. When a person is stressed, the body responds by increasing the heart rate. The blood pressure rises because of a need to pump more blood into the brain. Blood is drained from the intestines and shunted to the arms and the legs (protection and attack instinct). Blood clotting takes place more quickly (body’s protective instinct).

While stress is present everywhere these days, about 10% of the population suffers from chronic stress. If left untreated, this can cause extensive damage to a person’s physical as well as mental well-being.

Stress CAN be relieved. There ARE ways in which one can drain out this poisonous matter from the body.

Methods to relieve stress:

Do it willfully and enjoy the satisfaction. Multitasking is all very well, but it's more for computers than man. Pay attention to the task at hand. Finish it and then go on to the next task.
Plan your day. Keep a timetable. If you are a working mom, there are deadlines to be met, brownie meets, and coaching sessions; not to mention cooking, cleaning and washing. Yes, that’s a lot of things to do. So, split the load. Fix a time for a task and pat yourself on the back when you finish each task.

Don’t rush through your meals, no matter how important that meeting is. Take the time to quiet your mind and relax when you do this all-important activity. Find pleasure in eating.

Keep your thoughts positive, ALWAYS. Focus on the good side of things. Meditation, Yoga, or Tai Chi will greatly help to calm your troubled mind. During the day, notice your body. If you notice tension in your body, release it. Breathe deep and stretch any of the tense areas.

Get some exercise. Jog, run, play, swim - just release those cramped muscles and let your heart beat faster and stronger.

You are only as good as the things you put in you body. Avoid sugary foods, fast food and fried stuff. Take in a lot of fiber and complex carbs. Plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables make you feel good.

Remember that proverb," All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy?” Find some things that you enjoy and make time for them. Read that book; go for a walk; or listen to music. The important thing is to find some time for you.

Lastly, be gentle with yourself. It is natural to fall back into stressful habits from time to time. If you do, simply notice this change and don’t get judgmental. Move back to the stress reduction techniques.

Managing Stress Could Be Blessing In Disguise!

Life with stress and life without stress- they are poles apart!

Some types of stress are inevitable. Some stresses are those over which you have no control. Plus, some one may be the cause of your stress; there are some types of stress of which you are the cause, and therefore you have to find its solution.

Mostly, the level of your stress and the level of your heartbeat go hand in hand. The greater the pounding, more intense is the level of the pressure. Nobody is happy to own the stress permanently. Hence, arises the question of managing the stress.

The causes of stress are innumerable. May be that it concerns your children, or the usual, unusual arguments with your spouse. A word of caution to the heart patients. Develop the trait of patience and avoid stress at all costs. Stress is the cause of many heart attacks.

Remember the cop managing the heavy traffic in a busy junction-he is the master of traffic rules, he has the assistance of red, yellow and green signals. He regulates, controls the rush of a large number of vehicles, with the assistance of these signals.

So, coping stress is all about stress management. Nobody likes to remain in a state of stress. But the style of life in the modern materialistic civilization, throws many types of stresses, without your asking for it. Rather, stress is forced upon you! Managing the stress assumes added importance here. Some of the following guidelines may help you in manging the stress:

1. Do not suppress your stress. Only you know the reason of your stress. Discuss your difficulties with your trusted ones, friends, relatives or with your spouse.

2. Do some deep breathing exercises, for 10-15 minutes everyday, sitting all alone.

3. Everything in the world is happening as it should. You are not the one to create all the problems or to solve all the problems. The perfect order or discipline that you want might not be available at all times. Carry on them, with the available discipline.

4. Temper is very valuable. Do not lose it. But if you are determined to lose it, do not respond to anyone at a high temperature level. Let things cool down. Time provides its own answers, for major part of your problems.

5. Think of the positive side of the issue. The strength of the negative side, will then automatically weaken.

Sometimes, a spiritual personality can help you more, for sure, than your psychologist or family doctor. Do not hesitate to surrender before the Perfect Master. He may bestow you with such grace, bless you with such positive thoughts that your stress may just float away, destination less and direction less never to return again.

Yes, this is not a vague assumption. This stress, could be your blessing in disguise!

Managing Stress

A growing number of women are experiencing the challenges of being a caregiver. Whether they're looking after children, elderly parents or a sick relative, the stress can take a physical toll on even the most hardy individuals.

The editors of Caring Today magazine offer these tips to work a little relief into busy schedules:

• Make time for a hobby. There's no need to feel guilty for taking time to have fun. Consider a hobby a tonic for your health. Paint a picture, knit a sweater, strum a guitar or hit a few golf balls.

• Take a 10-minute vacation. Can't go on that holiday you really need? Take a 10-minute fantasy vacation instead. Close your eyes and picture yourself in a place that makes you happy. Focus on the details-the sights, sounds, smells and feelings-to bring the scene alive.

• Try the tennis ball trick. For a quick mood boost, roll a tennis ball over tight muscles. But make sure you use a firm pressure-a light stroke stimulates instead of calms.

• Write out your worries. Telling your troubles to a friend can make you feel better. So can venting on paper. In fact, study after study suggests that jotting down your feelings about an upsetting situation relieves stress, boosts immunity and results in fewer visits to the doctor.

Look to Mother Nature to Reduce Stress on the Job

Are inadequate communication with co-workers, lack of control and even too much work stirring up feelings that you just can't take it anymore? If so, you may be experiencing work-related stress.

According to the U.S. National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health, work-related stress is a physically and emotionally harmful response that occurs when the requirements of a job don't match the capabilities, resources or needs of a worker.

Enduring tension headaches, neck and back pain, and tiredness are a few of the telltale signs that you may have work-related stress. Unfortunately, stress can affect more than just your performance on the job. It also can affect your health.

Because extreme stress can take a toll on many parts of your body, this state of mental tension and pressure can leave you with various degrees of health effects - from uncomfortable conditions, like heartburn, to chronic illnesses, such as diabetes. In turn, many stressed-out workers have found that Mother Nature holds the key to stress-relief.

Studies show that some all-natural products can help you control stress during trying work situations while bringing significant changes to your long-term health. For instance, Vital StressX, developed by CyberWize.com, contains a blend of seven unique herbs, known as adaptogens, that help fight stress and restore balance in your body.

Discovered by the Soviet Academy of Sciences, the adaptogens found in Vital StressX increase the body's ability to cope with internal and external stress factors by helping control the production of excess amounts of cortisol, hormones that are always present in the body but are disrupted during times of high stress.

Clinical studies also show that adaptogens can help boost energy and endurance, promote heart health, sharpen memory and alertness, build immunity and help fend off and repair damage to your body's cells.

Living a Better Life in Times of Chaos

Is your life full of chaos?

Challenges such as stress, anxiety, illness and depression all contribute to a chaotic life. So how do you rid your life of the obstacles to your happiness and change it for the better?

Yehuda Berg says the answer lies within a group of sacred letters from the biblical story of Moses and the Red Sea. In his book "The 72 Names of God," Berg says that through 72 three-letter combinations taken from three biblical verses, you can find the strength to eliminate negative forces that keep you from living a fulfilling life.

The book explains that the 72 names are not "names" in the literal sense, but visual mantras that are activated spiritually rather than vocally. These spiritual tools come from a tradition called Kabbalah, which is today the fastest-growing global spiritual movement. Contrary to popular belief, Kabbalah is not a religion and you do not have to be Jewish to study it.

According to the teachings of Kabbalah, everything, including our destiny, begins and ends with our own individual behavior. The apparent randomness that we encounter in life is actually a system of cause and effect. Furthermore, the ability to overcome challenges lies in the power of mind over matter.

"The 72 Names of God" encourages readers to meditate on the names and follow through with a physical action to implement positive change in their lives.

Here are a few of the names and their applications:

* Healing: Think about others who also need healing. Be accountable. Blaming someone or something else absolves us of responsibility. Accepting 100 percent responsibility brings about the energy of healing.

* Unconditional Love: You should offer unconditional love to others if you want to have peace and serenity in your life. Love has the power to eradicate all forms of darkness. When you offer love to your enemies, you destroy their darkness and hatred.

* Eliminating Negative Thoughts: When negative thoughts - worry, anxiety, fear, pessimism, uncertainty - invade your mind, focus on thoughts that move you forward, not backward.

* Letting Go: Human nature is to hang on to past regrets and earlier traumas. But you cannot live a fulfilling future if you are hanging on to an unhappy and cynical past. This name gives you the courage to let go.

Little Known Stress Management Tips & Techniques: How To Relax More & Worry Less

What is Stress?

To understand the need for stress management, we must first understand stress. When a person is in danger, the body reacts, preparing to defend itself. The heart rate increases, blood pressure climbs higher, breathing becomes faster and blood flows to the muscles. This is great if a fierce dog is chasing you, because it gives you additional energy to get out of harm’s way. Unfortunately, the body reacts in the same way in response to daily problems and changes and over time this causes issues. Your body is ready to flee, but you don’t need an extra spurt of speed. With no way to release this additional energy, you become nervous, anxious and worried. This is called stress.

Physical issues such as an illness, lack of sleep or eating poorly can cause stress. Stress can also be caused by mental pressures like worrying about work or a death in the family. Major life changes can also cause stress. Not only negative changes such as being laid off from a job, but changes that are considered positive as well, such as a marriage or a promotion at work can result in stress.

What Problems are Associated with Stress?

Stress management can help with the physical effects of stress. Stress can cause a number of health problems and can make existing problems worse. Fatigue, back pain, depression, high blood pressure, insomnia, headaches and constipation are just some of the signs of stress.

Stress Management Techniques

Stress management is the process of dealing with stress and lessening its negative effects.

To effectively deal with stress, it is necessary to sense when you are feeling stress. Next, you must determine what is causing the stress. This will be different for each individual. For example, one person might consider the daily commute a great time to wind down from work and listen to relaxing music in the car, while another finds the rush hour traffic incredibly stressful.

Once you have recognized the cause of the stress, see if you can get away from it or avoid it completely. If that is not possible, consider ways to lessen your exposure to the stressor. For example, can you spend less time engaging in a stressful activity? Can you limit the activity to certain days?

Think about your emotional reaction to stress. Do you try to perform every task perfectly? Are you trying to keep everyone happy? These attitudes are bound to cause stress when you fail to live up to your own expectations. In the name of stress management, take it easier on yourself, ask for help if you need it and recognize that no one is perfect.

Exercising regularly is a great stress management technique. The physical activity releases pent-up energy and distracts you from your anxiety, helping you to relax.

Other Stress Management Tips

- Get plenty of sleep every night

- Get away from stressful situations by participating in hobbies and other activities you enjoy

- Prepare well in advance for stressful events

- Meditate or use deep breathing exercises

- Eat healthy, nutritious meals and limit the amount of alcohol and caffeine you consume

- Manage time wisely and don’t take on more than you can handle

- Ask for help if you need it

- Learn conflict resolution skills and use them

Keep the little things ... little.

Too much stress? Get dressed before bed, make breakfast the night before, and work with the little voices ... say what?

Ever feel you have too much stress in your life? Most of know there is good stress and bad stress. Good stress challenges us, helps us be productive, creative and leaves us feeling better for having coped.

Some stress isn't good for us, especially if it lasts for longer periods of time. Most articles I've read suggest we have no control over 90 percent of stressors that could impact us. They are probably going to happen whether we like it or not.

Do we turn a blind eye? Are there little things we can do to mitigate the daily stressors we all face? I'm talking little things.

One of my neighbors, Dr. David Posen has written three books relating to stress and lifestyle management. He observes we all have a little voice in our heads that talks to us. These internal conversations can be positive or negative. The good news is we can control the type of dialogue we have. In my business I work with top sales professionals. One of my areas of focus is helping them understand the power of positive self talk. Managing these little voices can significantly impact their business goals and improve their personal life.

Dr. Posen in his latest book offers 52 "prescriptions" he believes can have a profound and positive effect on lifestyles. I'm not a doctor so I can't write a prescription. I can share some 'little things' I've done for the past 20 years that have worked for me.

In the morning, have you ever worried what you are going to wear for the day? Why not make that decision the night before. Before you go to bed, lay everything out. You may think it funny, but I lay out my clothes the night before, including my socks and underwear! I extended this to breakfast. Just before I go to bed, I program the coffee maker; lay out my cereal bowl, coffee cup, juice glass and multivitamin. Does it save a lot to time? Maybe not but if my most difficult thing to remember in the morning is the coffee goes in the cup and juice in the glass, them I'm off to a good start. Next thing I do is organize the little voices in my head. It's going to be a great day. I will be productive. I will not let others actions impact my behavior. That's it. I get on with my day and try not to let the little things become big things.

Take charge of the little things you can control - and if you don't already do so, start singing in the shower!

Keeping a Safe Distance from Management Stress

You finally got your well-deserved promotion. After working years and years on proving your worth, having been recognized for your efforts and getting that sizeable increase is making all the hard work well worth it.

But then again you didn't count on all the pressure the new job comes with. You suddenly notice that you're always tired, irritable and hardly gets any sleep, in other words you're all stressed out. Managing an office is not a simple task, as it seems. The responsibilities that can come with the job can be quite tremendous and for lesser people a breakdown is not uncommon. Management stress is a common occurrence with upper management.

Keeping Away from Management Stress

So as to not succumb to management stress, a person must be able to discipline him or herself. Have a proper work, rest and play schedule. Keeping yourself organized won't let you get stressed out.

Know your responsibilities and organize them according to their priority. Bering able to effectively divide the work is a sign of a true manager, which makes the workload light for everybody. Properly dividing responsibilities won't provide pressure to a single person which will make production faster.

Set attainable goals. If you keep on promising numbers and figures that are hardly realistic would provide unnecessary pressure and would contribute a lot to the stress factor.

Get along with your employees. Avoid letting them exploit it though, you are still the boss, set certain ground rules and an invisible line wherein you can still be in a good boss-employee relationship and still get the respect you deserve.

Management stress should get the best of you. Learn and research well your new position and live a healthier and stress-free life.

It took a tragedy to help me to increase my self-esteem

There are many people seeking help and ways to increase their self-esteem or self-confidence. This article describes how I managed to pull myself out of depression, and how I boosted my own self-esteem by hearing about a tragedy which happened in my local area.

I am the type of person who always saw life as one big struggle. I thought that I had it tough, that I was so unfortunate. To say that I worried about things was an understatement. I stressed so much that my hair began to turn grey by the age of twenty-one. My self-esteem had been shot to pieces by people who had bullied me at school and despite many attempts to achieve happiness, had not been able to find it. I was a very negative thinker and certainly did not appreciate what I actually did have in life, which were a superb family and some good friends.

The tragic event

One day when I was around my early to mid twenties, I went to the hairdressers for my monthly trim. I knew the lady who worked in there quite well and we often had a good gossip. What she was about to tell me, not only came as a shock, but would change my life forever.

She asked me if I had heard about the car crash, that had happened over the weekend. I hadn't and she then went on to describe what had happened.

Three young men who were all aged twenty-two, were on the way for an evening in the local public house. One of them decided he would drive and on the way there, partly due to the fact that he was driving too quickly, he lost control of the car. His vehicle had then careered straight into a large tree, all three of the people in the car had died at the scene.

She continued that one of the men which had died, had worked in the butchers, which was only two doors away from her shop. She described the man in question, which turned out to be a person that I knew, just to say hello to. I actually saw him on most mornings and we often smiled at each other, and would say something like, hi there.

I know that this type of event happens everyday, however this had really took me by surprise and had quite a big impact on me. I was asking myself many questions such as:

Why him?

Why did he have to die so young, he seemed so harmless and friendly?

Later on when I was at home, I started to think even more about this particular person. Even though he was friendly, he always looked quite stressed and did not seem that happy. If he had known what was about to happen to him, I am sure he would have made the most of the time he had left.

It should not have taken this kind of tragedy to bring me to my senses, but it did. I suddenly realised that we are all terminally ill as we all will die at some point in the future. I am sorry if that is a bit morbid, but it is true. Not all of us will live until retirement age and our lives could end tomorrow.

I then decided that I had to change my approach to life, I needed to make the most of whatever time I had left. Time spent stressing is time wasted. I am now just going to go for it and not worry about, for example, what people think of me.

I also thought about the family and friends of the people who had died. I can't really imagine what they were going through as I have never been in that situation, however is must be awful. Those people have a reason to feel sorry for themselves, not me.

Life is no longer the struggle it once was, I do not care how much money I have or what car I drive or what opinion people may have of me. I fully appreciate my sense of smell, my ability to walk and talk, my family and my friends. I will die at some point but in the mean time I am going to live life to the full.

I hope this article can help you to increase your self-esteem and in conclusion, life is to short to worry. Walk tall and be proud of who you are. Think about all the positive aspects of your life, rather than the negative ones. Good luck.

Is Your Work Stressing You? Test Yourself

All of us who are working to earn our living face some stress in our work life. Many of us face more stress than we can cope up with. But sometimes we don't realize that. The stressed life becomes a routine, and we don't bother to check if we are under more than acceptable stress. Can tests and quizzes help us find out the true state of affairs? Let us find out.

Let me talk about few quizzes that you can take to understand your work life and stress better. For example quizzes that are titled - Are you stressed? Are you a work slave? Do you believe in fun at work? Are you living a tense life? Are you burning out yourself? Are you fighting stresses in the right way? And Are you a good time manager? Will all tell us something about our mental state? How do these quizzes and tests help us?

No test or quiz can be precise. No body can tell us precisely about our mental state. It is not measurable. But a quiz raises questions. It wants us to answer many questions. That makes us think about the answers. This is like somebody interviewing us and making us think of the answer. The thought process that begins in our mind is a great tool for self-improvement. Once we realize that we might be facing more stresses or that we are nearing a burn out, we will take care.

Let us all remember that the world is going forward at a great speed. In this information age, people to people contact is getting reduced. This makes us more vulnerable. Earlier colleagues used to be more vigilant about other co-workers. Today, everyone is over loaded. Tests and quizzes are therefore a good way to self analyze and decide the course of action. Stresses are harmful. If we can use any tool that can help us, we should try. Use tests and quizzes to find out if you are stressed and try to live a long and healthy life.

Is Your Job Stressful? Add a Little Harmony

Every job has stress. Some stress is due to the nature of the job, some stress we apply to ourselves, and some stress is caused by those around us, be it demanding bosses, unreasonable customers or unproductive and scheming co-workers.

Malcolm S. Forbes once said, “If you have a job without any aggravations, you don’t have a job.”

So if workplace stress is a given, then how we handle this stress has a large impact on how well we perform and how much we enjoy our job.

The fact is that living and working with others is not always easy. You don’t have to like the people you work with, but you do need to be able to co-exist and co-operate with them. You can start by remembering that everyone has their place and the more harmony you can bring to the situation the more enjoyable it will be for everyone.

Why not try bringing a little harmony to the workplace by imagining your job as being a member of a choir. In a choir some people sing too loud, others too softly and some out of tune, but we’re all still part of the same choir. If you sing louder to compete with the loud singers or sing so softly that you are not heard or sing out of tune just to fit in, then you do nothing to help the choir-you don’t add anything to the harmony.

You can’t change how another sings, you can only do the best that you can and hope that others follow your lead.

The Roman philosopher Sallust said, “Harmony makes small things grow, lack of it makes great things decay.”

Wise words, indeed. Whatever you do, don’t add to the disharmony, this will only make matters worse and drag the choir further out of tune.

Your performance should be based on how well you perform, and not the performance of others. The more harmony there is in a choir the better it sounds. The more harmony we can create at work the less stressful our job becomes. Don’t let someone else singing off key ruin your song.

Is Stress Ruining Your Life?

Do you find it difficult to make decisions? Do you feel generally unsettled and sometimes downright irritable? When you stop and think about it are you aware of an underlying sense of anxiety or worry that permeates every aspect of your life?

If you’re nodding your head to all or most of these questions chances are that you are suffering from chronic stress.

Although the word stress is frequently heard it’s far reaching long term damage is little appreciated. Allowing it to continue builds invisible barriers in your life and limits your ability to simply enjoy life and your capacity to express emotions and appreciate opportunities. If a sense of stress becomes the norm rather than the exception you run the risk of inflicting serious damage to your health and limits to your future happiness.

Think about it – imagine how different your life would be if you just went ahead with decisions and once you made those decisions they didn’t come back to haunt you. Imagine how much more energy you’d have to enjoy activities that you put off now, because you ‘don’t feel up to it,’ or you ‘just have to get some extra work done.’

Don’t worry if you feel all of the above is pertinent – you are not alone. Stress and anxiety are commonplace in competitive environments and most workplaces. Unfortunately nowadays we are bought up to believe that you must be seen to succeed at everything and that you must be able to buy all the latest products and gizmos to add short-term enjoyment to your life.

With this kind of everyday pressure to face it’s not by accident that such conditions as IBS, chronic backache, depression, psoriasis and migraine are on the increase in our hi-speed, consumer oriented society. Understandably when we fall pray to these conditions we seek our doctor’s advice, who will invariably prescribe a drug regime. This traps you in a syndrome of dependency on drugs and feelings of failure because you are unable to cope with life like everyone else seems to.

What Can You Do to Avoid the Stress Trap?
The simple answer is to learn the art of living consciously and being self-aware in the right way. Instead of constantly going over thoughts in your head that point out your mistakes and what everyone else is thinking, ask yourself some useful questions.

You could start by posing the question: ‘How am I contributing to my feelings of stress?‘ This could lead you to examine what exactly you’re saying to yourself in your head and noticing whether it’s of value or helpful.

Then perhaps check whether you’re tensing up your body anywhere. You may suddenly be aware that every time you talk to a certain person you are unconsciously tensing up your neck and shoulders.

Now check whether you’re habitually imagining things going wrong, or rehearsing arguments to have or how to defend yourself.

Changing your thinking in this way may seem subtle but it has far reaching effects. Firstly it puts you back in control and makes you concentrate on the here and now instead of racing off into your own make-believe land of disaster.

Other key steps to the road of recovery and life enhancement are:

Acknowledge your current feelings – being aware is the first step to recovery.

Get help – seeking support is not a sign of weakness but a step of growth. Talking with a therapist, friends or family about your concerns and frustrations relieves emotional tension and brings a sense of relief – you’re not alone.

Learn how to relax – we so often feel that lying inert in front of the TV of an evening is relaxing. It isn’t. Your mind and body need the benefits of regular relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, calm moments of mental space, regular exercise. The resulting energy and clear head thinking you’ll experience will convince you of their worth.

Doing any or all of these exercises will help you regain control and start to create the life you were meant to have. Why wait any longer?

Is Stress Keeping You Up At Night?

What keeps Americans awake at night? While for some it may have been too much pizza, for most business people today, especially entrepreneurs, managers, and executives, it’s stress. There’s just too much to do, and not enough time to do it. The result of the hyped-up business climate we live in today is a population that’s dependent on medication and drugs to sleep and get through the day. These only serve to increase the devastating effects of stress on our lives.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that 60% to 70% of all disease and illness is stress-related. Add to that the fact that an estimated 75% to 90% of visits to physicians are stress-related, and there’s good reason the drug companies are having a field day. This really isn’t necessary. There is so much good information and knowledge about stress and stress reduction to get all stressed out over stress!

These are the top nine stress busters that I teach all my clients which help them dramatically reduce stress and improve the quality of their sleep.

1. Mindful Awareness of Thoughts and Beliefs - Become aware of what you are thinking and feeling during the day. Are your thoughts negative, fearful or limiting? Do you worry about everything: money, health, and relationships? If you are thinking negative thoughts, you are attracting into your life negative people and unhelpful situations. You are doing the very thing you do not want to do. Try to “let go” of the thought and replace it with a positive belief or image.
2. Visualization - Clinical evidence shows that physical changes clearly happen when people practice imagery regularly. Creating a mental image in your mind is a very powerful practice to use in the morning when you get up and at night before you go to sleep. Start by relaxing with music or in silence and create an image of a peaceful place. Then envision in your mind what you want to happen. “I am totally relaxed, I will wake-up with the solution to my problem, I will sleep soundly all night.” If you practice this technique frequently, you can instill these messages into your subconscious mind and activate the relaxation response anytime you want.
3. Meditation - Mediating before bedtime for ten to twenty minutes can be very helpful for reducing stress and promoting sounder sleep.
Sit quietly in a comfortable chair, close your eyes and breathe deeply. Focus on your breath; relax your chest and body. When your mind wanders and you find yourself lost in other thoughts, let the emotion or thoughts go and return your focus to your breathing. This practice works quickly to reduce stress and rebalance your body. Continue for at least ten minutes or until you feel drowsy.

4.Purchase The Best Of Stress Management Kit -A ten-week multimedia course to help reduce stress, anxiety, promote relaxation, improve mood, lower blood pressure and much more. This course is based on the Center for Mind-Body Medicine’s world-renowned professional training program. It features James Gordon, Joan Borysenko, and other leading experts in mind-body relaxation and stress-reduction techniques.

5. Exercise, Exercise, Exercise
It’s a great way to release tension and fortify ourselves against the physical effects of stress. Engage in aerobic activity; take a walk, run or swim. Try a new, fun exercise such as NIA, belly-dancing or boxing. Exercising in the evening, however can be counter-productive, particularly if the exercise is vigorous.

6. Laugher and Fun
Laughter is one of the healthiest antidotes to stress. Take yourself lightly and your work seriously. When we laugh or even smile, blood flow to the brain is increased, endorphins are released, and levels of stress hormones drop. Start to notice how often you smile. People who experience joy, fun and laughter sleep well.

7. Diaphragmatic Breathing - The following exercises make use of the breath and can enhance the ability to fall asleep due to their calming effect.
Put one hand on your abdomen and close your eyes. Take a deep breath in through your nose and expel it slowly and completely through your mouth. You will feel your belly flatten. Exhale fully, drawing in your abdomen. At the end of each third exhalation, hold your breath for as long as you can. Then repeat the process two or three times, or until you feel sleepy.

8. Take Action - Rather than worry, re-live the situation over and over or spend sleepless nights thinking about the consequences, take some action to move the issue forward. Talk to a friend, get a therapist, journal… just do something. Procrastination weakens productivity, compounds your anxiety and causes the stressful side-effects of guilt, anger and low self-esteem.

9. Get Serious- Hire a coach who specializes in stress reduction and mind-body coaching. Develop a blueprint for lifestyle change, set goals, have accountability and make the health lifestyle changes you have always wanted.

Instant Luxuries Relieve Daily Stress

Discovering how to de-stress may be easier-and more important-than many people realize. A recent survey reveals that 34 percent of Americans report their daily stress levels are at an all-time high. Of those surveyed, more than 90 percent indicated a growing need for adding some stress-busting "instant luxury" to their lives, with decadent desserts and fine coffee topping their "favorites" list, followed by fresh-cut flowers and high-thread-count sheets.

According to Alison Deyette, lifestyle expert and host of the Fine Living Network series "Pocket the Difference," there are some simple things anyone can do every day to bring in life's little luxuries and reduce stress.

"These days, luxury is a mindset, not a lifestyle; to manage the daily stresses of life, consumers are finding ways to treat themselves with products and experiences that convey attainable luxury," said Deyette. "Products such as Nescafé Taster's Choice 100 percent Colombian coffee provide opportunities to enjoy simple indulgences, such as fine coffee, each day."

For coffee lovers in search of instant luxury, Nestlé recently introduced a new variety that allows anyone to experience the world-renowned taste of Colombian coffee, brewed fresh in the cup anytime. This new offering provides java enthusiasts an opportunity to indulge in delicious premium coffee at work or home, that until recently was only reserved for gourmet coffee shops.

Other instant luxuries Deyette suggests as ways people can treat themselves on a regular basis include fresh-cut flowers, possibly from a farmers' market or just a grocery store. She adds, "These types of indulgences can stimulate the senses and make those 'feel-good' chemicals in the brain spring into action."

Since every day should begin with a good night's sleep, great bedding is essential. High-thread-count sheets that are affordable can now be found at virtually any bedding store or major retailer and can add a "little luxury" to your life.

Defining "instant luxury" as a product or experience that's attainable by the average person, the survey by TNS Express asked 1,000 Americans ages 18 to 90 what they are doing to enrich their lives and cope in an increasingly stressed-out world.

If you are Stressed - Learn to Relax

In modern society it is becoming far more impossible to avoid stressful situations. Too much stress can be unhealthy which is why learning to relax is so important. We all cope with stress when we go to sleep at night. While we are sleeping, our bodies become very relaxed and our heart rate, blood pressure, pulse and body temperature decrease. This allows our bodies and minds a chance to recharge allowing us to face the next day with renewed energy.



In theory, relaxation does the opposite of what stress does. It gives the body a break and helps cancel out many problems that stress may cause. Relaxation can also reduce muscle tension. Learning to relax is like learning a new skill. It takes practise to become good at it. Here are a few ideas to help you achieve it.



Breathing.

Most of us take breathing for granted, in stressful situations our breathing can go off sync and we don't even notice. This can lead to muscle tension, headaches and anxiety. Performing deep breathing exercises on a daily basis can help relieve stressful feelings.



Relax your Muscles.

Our muscles tense when we are stressed. Learn to recognise muscle tension and then learn to relieve it.



Use Imagery.

We were all great at this when we were children, imagining things all the time. Learn to use your imagination again to relieve stress. For example, imagine you're sitting on the beach and can hear the waves crashing while feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin.



Exercise.

Exercise can have a calming effect that makes you feel, think and perform better. Yoga is an excellent relaxer. But even just going for a brisk walk can make you feel so much better.



Ways to reduce your stress.

Firstly, take stock of your life and what may cause you stress. Look to find a way you can eliminate or reduce some of the stress in your life. By reducing the problems you can reduce the symptoms of stress.



Take a look at your diet, certain things we eat can all contribute to stress. Caffeine, alcohol and sugar can cause stress, whereas fruit and vegetables can help reduce it.



Quit smoking. Nicotine increases nervous irritability. While quitting maybe a stressful process, in the long run you'll feel better once you've quit.



Make time for recreation and enjoy yourself. Take up some new hobbies and make sure you allow enough time for these each week.



Keep a positive attitude. Try and focus on the positive side of each situation. Looking on the bright side lightens your load. You might not like certain things in your life, but instead of letting them frustrate you, try to accept them and find a way of working around them.



Have a massage once in a while. A massage will allow your body and mind to be intouch again. In stressful situatiuations our mind and body loose touch with one another. This contact needs to be re-established again. If you cant leave the house for whatever reason or don't have a partner to give you a massage at home try relaxing by yourself in the bedroom. Climaxing is extremly relaxing. If you are alone or single, sex toys can help you along with this.



Learn to laugh. Laughing can lower your stress levels and exercises your heart and cardiovascular system. By brightening your mood you can improve your well-being.



Finally, don't be afraid to ask for help. Read a book or even see a counsellor to find out ways of making your life more manageable.



Stress can be a result of allowing daily irritations and frustrations to take control of your life. It doesn't have to be like that. You can anticipate difficulties, plan your time carefully, and be aware of how you react to problems. By attending to a particular problem you can create ways that put you in the driver's seat where you belong.

How You Can Find Stress Relief

Copyright 2006 Douglas Alp

We all have heard of the harmful effects stress can have on our lives. Although we can never totally eliminate stress we must be able to manage stress, and find stress relief, especially the prolonged stress which will indeed cause many ill effects on your health.

In many ways we can eliminate much of our stress by the way we perceive things. There are many things in life in which we have little or no control over. Things such as traffic jams and the way others act. If we react to these things in a way that adds stress to our lives many of our bodily functions shut down and prevent our bodies from keeping ourselves healthy and youthful.

Much of our stress can be relieved by the way we perceive things. In many cases we are stressed out by things we have no control over. If we can do something about a situation then we should act on it to resolve the problem. If the situation is out of our control we would be better off just accepting it for what it is and focus our attention on something more pleasant or something that will enhance our day and our lives.

The body reacts to stress by producing a flood of chemicals that shut down important but not vital functions to survival. This constant supply of stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline and the suppression of growth hormones and other healing hormones that help your body heal after stress, will damage your body and have a negative effect on your health over time.

Some ways you can control the amount of stress you encounter is to monitor a few things about the so called stressful situation you are in. Firstly ask yourself, am I in control of the situation that is upon me. Like I said earlier if the situation is beyond your control you must let it go. If there is something you can do about the situation then you must be in action and do something to resolve it.

Secondly you could identify to what extent your stress is the result of your interpretation of the situation, which in fact, relates to your beliefs and judgments. If you are caught up in the story of “this always happens to me” or are you always trying to prove something to yourself to reinforce a limiting belief you have about yourself or others. This can be a harmful cycle in which you will always generate unwanted stress in your life. Pay attention to see if the same situations come up and you get stressed out about similar things. Awareness to our beliefs and judgments can open doors to freedom within our consciousness.

The third thing that one can do is to learn to consciously adjust your reaction to what is happening in our lives. Learn to be calm in situations, to be focused and powerful in dealing with stressful issues. When we react all the time we are not in control and not being in control can add to feelings of recklessness. An out of control feeling is definitely a situation which can cause stress.

Besides the few perceptive ways to deal with stress just mentioned one can also start a program which will be more proactive and help you put your mind and body in a state that more readily handles situation as they arise. Proactive stress management techniques can be addressed with knowledge. Through personal development books or courses that teach you to be in more control of your life and to accept others for who they are, you can eliminate about fifty percent of your stress.

There are also courses in anger management if you feel you have an issue with anger. Many times anger is the end result of other emotions such as disappointment, jealousy, fear, or other emotions. Not being able to communicate this in a healthy manner and really understanding your emotions can lead to anger in almost any area of your life. The recognition of these emotions and the ability to communicate them to yourself and others can be a big stress releaser and put you in better control of your emotions and your life.

Of course eating well and exercising help your body to deal with stress. The release of good hormones through things such as yoga, aerobic, meditation, breathing exercising or weight lifting greatly help your body deal with stress, firstly by having a means to release the stress through the physical activity and secondly these activities enable the body to produce the healthy endorphins and healing hormones into your body.

Other ways to reduce stress is to engage in something you love to do. Get your mind off the situation that is causing you stress. By having a hobby that you just love to do such as gardening, playing a musical instrument, stained glass or whatever gets your mind focused on something you love. Usually something creative opens you up a totally different space within you.

And of course my two favorite thing to relieve stress, laughter and good supportive friends. Go see a funny movie or go out with supportive friends to a comedy club. Spend good quality time with them and share your love, don’t complain about your stressful situation unless you discuss it to find possible ways of resolving the situation and then end the conversation and have some fun.

Listen, stress can kill you and the more and more scientist explore this issue the more and more they know that almost all disease can manifest from stress and ill thoughts. Choose to deal with stress in a positive way. Find the way to incorporate stress relief practices into your life and help you mind, body and spirit live a healthier more fulfilled life.

How To ‘Stress Relief’ Easily?

Steam bathing provides a cardiovascular workout without stress or strain on your joints. You heart rate will speed up 50-75% in a 20-minute steam bath. This goes a long way to speeding up your metabolism, thus helping you burn fat. It is about the same as going for a long walk. Some people are under the conception that steam baths raise your blood pressure. While this is true, it also expands your blood vessels to compensate.

Stress Relief

In today's fast-paced world, we are rarely able to take time for ourselves, to relax, and just let our bodies rest. It has been proven time and time again that stress plays a huge role in our physical health and metal well-being. A sauna session is a great way to kick back with a good book or your favorite music and just relax.

Sweating

Sweating is as essential to our health as eating and breathing. It accomplishes three important things: rids the body of wastes, regulates the critical temperature of the body at 37 degrees C (98.6 degrees F), and helps keep the skin clean and pliant. Many people, in this sedentary sauna benefit,sauna health benefit,hot sauna,dry sauna,buy a sauna,build a sauna,sauna,infrared sauna,home sauna,arizona sauna age, simply don't sweat enough, making sweat bathing particularly desirable during these times. Antiperspirants, artificial environments, smog, synthetic clothing, and a physically idle lifestyle all conspire to clog skin pores and inhibit the healthy flow of sweat. These detrimental effects are reversed in a sweat bath.

A Finnish doctor wrote: "The best-dressed of foreigners can come into a doctor's office, and when his skin is examined, it is found to be rough as bark. On the other hand, as a result of the sauna, the skin of any Finnish worker is supple and healthy." Properly cared for skin is better able to resist eczema, athlete's foot, pimples and blackheads.

Furthermore, combining sweat bathing and brushing with a loofa or rough brush removes flakes of dried skin cells that accumulate on the epidermis. If allowed to remain, they can clog sweat pores and oil passages and result in dry, flaky skin.

Blood Pressure

One Finnish study observed that whereas blood pressure of healthy persons remains approximately normal in a sweat bath, there occurs a marked reduction of pressure in persons suffering from high blood pressure. However, this effect is only transient, and the original condition returns soon after the sweat bath.

How To Teach Your Children To Beat Stress

We are sending our children into a future filled with stress and conflict. Parents and teachers have the responsibility to model behaviors and teach skills that will enable our children to be productive, accepting, healthy, and above all, resilient.

1. Self-understanding and acceptance

Self-esteem is a realistic estimate of your own capabilities and worth. People with high self-esteem are productive, responsive, imaginative, and attentive to the needs of others. Encourage your children to develop their natural aptitudes and interests. Set them up for success. Empower them to be more responsible.

2. Adults' understanding and acceptance

Give your children regular, focused, undivided attention. This, more than anything else, communicates your unconditional love.

3. Constructive thinking

We are what we think. Fill your language with statements that help your children see change in a positive way, to view adversity as manageable, to persist until they are successful, and to become more oriented to the needs of others. Prepare your children for the reality that others may not think or believe like they do. Teach your children to identify positive and negative feelings in themselves and others. Replacing destructive thinking with constructive thinking increases self-esteem and improves coping skills.

4. Good decision-making strategies

Making a good decision requires the ability to generate alternative solutions to a problem, predict consequences, view the problem from the perspective of others, and consider how to implement alternatives to reach a solution. Children as young as four or five can usually generate alternatives and predict consequences, but advanced decision making skills come later. Model good decision making for your children. Show children how characters in stories make decisions. Let your children make their own decisions whenever possible.

5. Stress-coping strategies

It's not too early to teach children physical relaxation exercises like breathing techniques, some forms of meditation, imagery, and muscle relaxation exercises. Help your children learn to recognize their own stress triggers and responses, and identify which relaxation methods work best for them. And help your kids laugh--read funny stories, watch age-appropriate comedies, and laugh at their jokes.

6. Good nutrition and exercise

Good nutrition optimizes the way your mind and body works. A well-functioning mind and healthy body increase our self-esteem and resiliency. Make aerobic exercise and recreation a family affair. If your children see you exercise, they are more likely to take it up themselves and develop a lifelong positive habit.

7. A sense of purpose and commitment to personal and social goals

Commitment to goals gives meaning and value to life, and a reason for existence. Children should have more than one goal, and their goals should be realistic. Teach them to be flexible in how they achieve their goals, and help them learn persistence when progress is slow.

8. Social skills and social supports

Healthy relationships build self-esteem and protect from the negative effects of stress. Help your children to build self-awareness skills and to see situations from another's point of view. Teach them to positively manage conflict and disagreement.

Resilient children grow up to be adults who have a sense of control, a positive view of change, and an ability to find meaning and value in life. Now doesn't that describe the kind of people you want to have running the world when you retire?