Quiz - Are You An Expert At Fighting Stress?

Stress is becoming pervasive in modern life. We are now finding that stress causes many diseases that can affect our life style. Stress damages our mental peace and physical fitness. Quiz yourself and find out if you are an expert at fighting stress.

Stress will always be there - To hope that stress can be avoided in modern life is difficult. All of us face stress in our life. The difference may be in quality of stress and our response to it. We can work on both of these and reduce stress substantially.

Quiz your stress level - please find out how much stress you face everyday. Is your stress level equal to what others are facing or more or less? You can do this by talking to few friends and co-workers. If you find that your work itself causes a high level of stress, you can always consider a job change. High stress over a period of years is not good. Please quiz yourself about this and find a way to reduce the stress you face.

Quiz your stress fighting ability - how you fight stress is very important. Do you get scared of the stress or face it squarely and fight it off. Write down all kinds of stresses you are facing and your responses to them. Find out if your response is of good quality? Develop methods to fight the stress and bring changes in your response to stress. Evaluate yourself over a period and make changes if needed.

PRACTICING STAYING PRESENT TO THE NOW

Transformational Counseling is about assisting others to transform their life. Transformational Counseling is a process of assisting others to learn how to let go of the past and live fully in the present. To live fully in the present is to become awaken to what is truly real and to our own natural power. Much of our life is spent living in the past, and in the process, attempting to fix it, to make it something that it is or was not. It is from living in the past that we also attempt to create our future, the result always being a living of life as it was in the past. Transformation takes place when we learn to exist in and be present to the Now.

The practice of staying present to our natural power and to that which is real is becoming conscious to what is so, to the Now, to the present. What is so, the Now, has no meaning and exists outside of thought and language. As human beings we tend to give meaning to everything, including other people, ourselves and even life itself. It is in our meaning making that we leave the present and create our life from the past, a life that can be filled with a great deal of anxiety, fear and stress. What is so merely exists and it is in the experience of the Now that we begin to live a life of power and freedom, a life and way of being free from our past.

A specific technique that is very powerful for practicing staying present to the Now is meditation. It is in meditation that one creates the space to experience a very deep state of relaxation, a state that is very healing to both the mind and body. As we know, in meditation ones metabolism slows down, including heart rate and blood pressure. The consistent practice of meditation will reduce anxiety and stress. For some the practice of meditation allows them to access true Being. For others it is way of reconnecting to the Spirit within us. It is in the consistent practice of meditation that the subject and object distinction inherent in language, thought and meaning making collapses thereby resulting in our access to the present, to the Now.

The meditative process can be enhanced by the use of therapeutic relaxation music. Music has always been a very powerful modality for promoting a very deep state of relaxation and even healings. I have found that musical compositions that are harmonically slow, repetitious, with sustained voices, which are rhythmically, random in tempo assists an individual in experiencing a very deep state of relaxation. A second important component of the use of therapeutic relaxation music is the use of binaural audio tones that have been interwoven into the music. The binaural tones, through a process referred to as entrainment or frequency following, gently guides or directs the mind/body to generate more of the targeted frequency of brain wave activity for an even more profound state of relaxation.

The meditative process of practicing staying present to the Now is as follows:

1. Take a comfortable position in an upright sitting position.

2. Allow your legs and arms to be open.

3. Allow your eyes to focus upon a chosen object. The chosen object could be a candle light in a darkened room or any point that you choose.

4. As you focus on the chosen object, allow your muscles to slowly relax from the top of your head to the tips of your toes.

5. Take three slow deep breathes in through your nose as you inhale. Hold each breath to the mental count of four. Slowly exhale each breath out through your mouth. Continue to breath at a slow pace after the three breaths.

6. Continue to focus on the chosen object. When your mind wanders to some thought or thoughts slowly and gently bring it back to your focused concentration upon the chosen object. Simply let go of the thoughts that arise. The thoughts are from the past. Stay focused to what is so.

7. Continue the practice for a prescribed period of time and then go about your daily activities. Each day that you practice you may even choose to lengthen the time you spend with this technique.

The ability to stay in the present, to access the Now, can be enhanced with the consistent practice of meditation. What this will necessitate is one making the practice of meditation apart of his or her daily schedule. With the consistent practice of meditation one will also create the ability to stay even more present to what is so even when not actively engaged in the meditative process. It is through a commitment to the practice of meditation on a daily basis that one will begin to live more fully in the Now.

Harry Henshaw, Ed.D., LMHC
http://www.enhancedhealing.com

Optimists Hope for More and Aren't Thrown by Less

These are changing and challenging times. Life is difficult and setbacks are common in the great game of business and in life. Every person has a choice about the attitude they bring to their day and the actions they make. Those who will prosper must develop flexible optimism, resourcefulness, and persistence in the face of adversity and constant change.

Unfortunately, far too many are falling victim to the depression of our age, learned helplessness— "Nothing I can do is going to make any difference in what happens to me, so why try?"

By controlling your attitudes and habits you too can alter your life and influence others you live and work with. Here are fifteen practical tips to claim your own optimism advantage in bouncing back from any setback or disaster.

1. Nurture perspective and an appreciation for the healing power of time. One of Abraham Lincoln's favorite quotes was: "This too shall pass." Because we tend to think that our reactions to bad events will never fade, we also tend to feel especially good when we recover from trauma with unexpected speed. Don't underestimate your own powers of recuperation from emotional trauma. None of us will ever forget the horror of September 11th or Hurricane Katrina, but we now look back with a calmer perspective only time can provide.

2. Dispute catastrophic thoughts by checking fears against the facts. Optimism can be learned. Recognize that people often have catastrophic thoughts—feelings that everything is wrong and that nothing is going to change. Think of these thoughts as if they are being said by some external enemy whose mission in life is to make you miserable. Then dispute those thoughts. Try using cold, impersonal facts to maintain a reality-based perspective. If you struggle with the fear of flying, you note that the National Safety Council reports that you're 37 times more likely to die, mile for mile, in a vehicle crash than on a commercial airline.

3. Avoid victim thinking and seize the day as a survivor. As long as you are alive, you always have options. Survivors make the best of the options they have while victims whine about how few they have. There is never nothing you can do, the only question is whether a given action will work and if committed action is worth the investment of the time required to achieve the desired results. Survivors keep making choices one day at a time.

4. Control what you can—position, perform and persist. Security is not a fact; it is a feeling—a feeling that you can control what you do. You don't control all events that happen, but you do control your response to events. You don't control the cards you are dealt in life, but you can learn how to play even a poor hand well. Appreciate the words of Reinhold Niebuhr: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." Get busy changing what you can—starting with your own attitude.

5. Move from analysis paralysis into action. Cultivate a continual sense of adventure that searches for and takes advantage of every opportunity. Failure to act doesn't prevent failure it just turns life into slow death. As Yogi Berra would say, "When you come to a fork in the road, take it."

6. Master the strategic skills you need to invent the future. The age of lifelong employment is over. You become an old dog when you stop doing new and improved tricks. Invest 5% of your time in education to stay a recyclable asset. If you hate your job, raise that to 10%. Search for what you enjoy and have the gifts to do. Bouncing back with optimism is easier when you have a job that gives you passion, fulfillment, and energy.

7. Manage your motivation by catching yourself being effective. You are probably tougher on yourself than on any other person. Instead of taking yourself for granted, love yourself the way you love others you care about. If you are not catching yourself being effective, you may be winning and not know it because you're not keeping score. Ask yourself daily, "What did I do today that made a difference?" Use your calendar to write down one success every day.

8. See mistakes as valued lessons on the way to success. Life is like a moving vehicle with no brakes; if you spend too much time in the rearview mirror, you may hit a tree out the front window. Keep your rearview mirror smaller than your front window by using self-criticism as course correction feedback on the road to success. Identify what was done wrong, but put your focus on the future: What are you going to do to rectify the problem? How will you handle it next time?

9. Persevere in reframing difficulties and downturns into strategic opportunities. Flexible optimists persevere even in the presence of obstacles and negative outcomes. They perceive failures as temporary setbacks, rather than final verdicts. What you think when things go wrong determines whether you give up or whether you get busy overcoming the problem. Victors say to themselves, "I'm going to figure out how to become successful one way or another." Victims say, "I'll never be able to succeed."

10. Build an expectation of success through persistent hard work and invest your worry time in constructive action. Hunt for the silver lining. A crisis can be a time to reinvent a business, to cut costs that are not adding value, and to reinforce and strengthen customer ties.

11. Relationships are critical in times of crisis. Learn to accept support from others; you don't have to go it alone. The tragedy of life is that the people you most want to spend time with you have to schedule time to even see. The people you least want to be with will find you wherever you are. Spend time with other optimistic and resourceful friends. Mark Twain said it well: "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great." The company you keep can bring you up or bring you down. Pick your friends and associates wisely.

12. Balance working and living smart by making time for your family. Research shows that time spent with supportive families, friends and faith communities can help people find strength and comfort. People look at their priorities differently after a personal crisis. Make dates and buy a few tickets! When you've paid for theater tickets or a sporting event, you find a way to get everything done so that you can go no matter what work demands appear. In fact, have tickets every day and be willing to give them up only when unexpected job or life demands require it.

13. To maintain a positive attitude, take your health habits seriously in difficult times. Eat right, exercise, get plenty of sleep, and include daily stress breaks in your day. Maintaining your health habits can do wonders to help you sustain your optimism and manage your increased stress levels.

14. Find the power of purpose and serving others. Friedrich Nietzsche once said, "The one who has a why to live can bear with almost any how." There is passion in being fully engaged in a meaningful mission and in doing your share of random acts of kindness. You make a difference for yourself when you make a difference for others. Faith, values and integrity are back in. People of faith tend not live in fear, but find peace in faith. Core values help direct your choices. They are both your anchor in the rough sea and the lighthouse that helps illuminate a positive and principled course in uncertain times. Honor is a gift you give yourself.

15. Use your sense of humor to regain perspective. Don't go through your life with your face in "park ". Humor provides perspective that breaks the stress cycle and invites a more positive attitude. If you know that some day you will laugh at a problem, don't wait—laugh as quickly as you can! Take your job and life seriously, but yourself lightly. Never forget that some days you're the bug, and some days you're the windshield. That's a perspective worth remembering in these challenging times.

Finally, experience the power of gratitude. Unrealistic expectations are a sure road to disappointment. Optimists hope for more, but are not thrown by less. Start counting your blessings instead of your problems. Choose to be happy unless something happens to change that feeling, instead of being unhappy until something makes you happy. End the day by identifying five things for which you are grateful. In fact, you can start by being grateful that you found this article!

Occupational Stress Management

There are many people in the world who can not stand where they work. Their occupation causes them no end of stress and can leave them struggling to get to sleep at night. There are also many days taken off sick through stress related illnesses. It is now time for people to deal with these issues and to start to react in a more positive and proactive way.

In the past I have worked for companies whose employees have made my life unbearable. These so called colleagues were very bitchy, hanged around in various clans and would stab people in the back at regular intervals. At times I would even dread going to work and would feel sick whilst travelling to my office.

I would return home feeling very drained and would have little energy to do anything in the evenings. I would then decide to go to bed early but would basically just lay their worrying about the next day. This could last for hours on end and at times would last all of the night.

I have read that plenty of sleep is a good way at reducing levels of stress, the question is, how does one get to sleep in the first place?

When I did have the energy to socialise with family or friends, the fear of going to work would end up ruining the night and would stop me from enjoying myself. I felt sorry for the people I was with and hoped that I did not ruin their night as well.

For whatever reason I did not have the confidence to tell people about the problems I had and kept it bottled up to myself. This I now realise was a mistake and I have since learnt to talk about any issues that I have.

For all the stress I had to endure, I certainly was not paid enough. The people who I worked with, including the team leaders, did not treat me with as much respect as I felt I deserved. This period was a very unhappy stage of my life and my health started to become affected.

I wanted to leave this company a lot earlier than the time that I eventually did, the problem was that I did not feel that I could afford to. I decided to save up enough money over a period of about six months so that I could then make my escape. At the same time I started to look at finding alternative work and thought long and hard about which career path I wanted to take.

On the day that I left this job, I will never forget my journey home. I could not stop smiling, I was so relieved that this nightmare was over once and for all.

I am happy to let you know that I have not found myself in a similar situation since. There may well be a time in the future of course when I do and if this ever happens to me again I am determined to leave a lot quicker than I did before. Life is to short to spend living in the way that I had.